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Clarence the Cow
Issue #5
by Tom Zjaba
Chapter Five
The Verdict
With the questioning done, the attorneys take turns giving
their closing statements. The prosecution is first to talk. As he rises up, he
looks at the defense and especially Clarence. He then looks at the judge and
begins to speak. "While we have a special animal here, we must not lose sight of
the fact that he is in fact an animal. While his speech and mannerisms here in
the court may lead you to believe he is a docile animal and does not pose any
threat, we must remember he is a bull. Not a cow as his name suggests, but a
bull. And while he can think and speak like a man, he still possesses the
instinct of a bull. Bears and lions can be taught to do tricks and be docile,
but they are still wild animals and it is only a matter of time before they
revert to their wild nature. Clarence may never revert to the violent nature of
a bull, but do you want to be the one that has to explain that to a mother when
he charges and runs over her child? None of us would willingly bring a bull into
our homes or other places where we frequent. And the reason for this is they are
dangerous animals that can and will cause harm. The Running of the Bulls in
Barcelona, Spain is proof of this. I do not want to diminish the uniqueness of
Clarence, but in the end, he is a dangerous creature and we must not lose sight
of that fact. The decision we make today may save unnecessary pain and suffering
later."
The man then returns to his seat as the judge ponders what he
just heard. There is a mumbling through the audience as people talk about what
he said and the impact it can have on this case. Betty Lee thinks about it as
she plans her course. She looks up at the judge who lets her know he is ready.
She takes a deep breath and then stands up and faces the audience. "What we have
seen today is nothing short of a miracle. For the first time in the history of
man, we have found an animal that can think and speak on a level we only thought
was possible for humans. Not mimicked speech or trained actions, but genuine
speech. Clarence the Cow may be a bull and some bulls may be dangerous, but
isn't that stereotyping him? How many stereotypes have we found to be false? Is
Clarence dangerous? Possibly. But then are humans not the most dangerous animal?
The number of people killed by bulls per year is miniscule compared to the
number of people murdered by other people each year. If we lock up all dangerous
creatures, then man should be the first one locked up."
Betty Lee stops for a moment to gauge the response. She looks
out into the crowd and sees that everyone is listening intently. She looks over
at the prosecutor and sees they have a worried look on their face. She then
looks at Clarence who seems to be happy with the job she is doing. She then
continues "In conclusion, I want to clarify the point that we need to view
Clarence as a person and not an animal. While his physical characteristics are
of an animal, his brain and his ability to think and reason are of a human
being. And if we look at him as a human, we will find that he did nothing wrong
other than look different. He was pulled from a library where he came seeking
knowledge and imprisoned against his will for nothing more than looking
different. He posed no threat to anyone and even when he was locked up, he never
once became aggressive. There is no reason for his imprisonment and he should be
freed as soon as possible. Clarence is a special creature and should be treated
as such. We need to look past the exterior and instead look at the heart and
mind of Clarence." Betty Lee then walks over and sits down next to Clarence. As
soon as she sits down, the courtroom erupts in cheers and claps. One by one the
people all stand up and cheer for her. Clarence is so touched by the gesture
that a tear rolls down his face. He turns around and waves to the people.
The judge then pounds his gavel and yells out, "Order in the
court." He then looks around as the court quiets down. He looks over at the
governor who is looking at him with an intent look in his eyes. "Upon weighing
the facts that have been presented, I find the defendant, Clarence the Cow to be
not guilty." The courtroom once again erupts in cheers and applause. Betty Lee
reaches over and hugs Clarence as he smiles. The judge then says "The defendant
is free to go." Betty Lee then stands up with Clarence and raises his hand in a
sign of victory. The crowd goes nuts and dozens of cameras go off, capturing the
moment. The other attorneys then come over and congratulate Betty Lee. One of
the guys hands her a card and says "If you ever are thinking of joining with a
firm, please consider us." She smiles and thanks him. She then slips the card in
her pocket.
As the crowd goes wild, the governor comes over and grabs
Betty Lee's hand. "That was a fine performance, one of the best ever. I would
like for you and Clarence to be my personal guests for dinner at my house
tonight." Betty Lee is shocked and can only nod yes. He then says "I will send a
man to pick you up at 6:00 PM at your office." She smiles and thanks him. He
then heads over to Clarence and says "Congratulations on your freedom. I am the
governor of this state and would like to talk to you about some ideas I have for
you." He then shakes Clarence's hoof and makes sure the newspaper men take a
picture of the two of them shaking hands. The governor never misses a chance for
a photo op. He then looks into Clarence's eyes and says "We have big plans for
you. Big plans!." He then heads out as the reporters move in on Clarence. "Now
that you have your freedom, what is the first thing you want to do?" Clarence
looks at all the reporters as they push microphones into his face. He sees the
cameras pointed at him and is uneasy. Betty Lee quickly comes over and puts her
arm around him for support. He looks down at her and she says "Go ahead and
answer their questions. They waited a long time to talk to you." He smiles at
her and then he replies to the reporters "Now that I am free, I want to go back
to the library." They all start laughing. Another one quickly asks "What are
your long term plans? Showbiz?" Clarence smiles and says "I do not know what
showbiz is, but I am open to try new things." The next reporter blurts out "Are
there any other talking cows out there that you know of?" Clarence laughs as he
responds "As far as I know, I am the only one." Betty Lee then steps in and says
"One more question. Then we need to let Clarence rest. This has all been
overwhelming for him." A reporter up front quickly yells out a question "So what
do you think about the human world so far?" Clarence smiles and says "Right now
it is all so confusing for me. When I was a cow, life was easy. You ate, slept
and mated. That was pretty much it. But here there are so many rules. Everything
is so complicated. It will take me some time to understand everything." Betty
Lee then steps in again and says "That's all the questions for now. Thanks for
all your support and trust me, you will be hearing from Clarence again."
As the two of them push past the reporters, she gets him
outside and they quickly head over to her office. As they head down the street,
they are followed by the pack of reporters and photographers. Despite her
request, they are still yelling out questions. For a moment, Betty Lee knows how
the stars feel when the paparazzi chases them. Clarence is confused by the whole
situation. He does not know why they keep asking him questions or why they are
running from them, but he trusts Betty Lee. As she gets to her office, she
quickly opens the door and once they are inside, she closes it and locks it. She
then leads Clarence into a small backroom and has him sit down. While he is
getting seated, she quickly pulls down the shades so the room is closed off from
the outside world. She then sits down in a chair and wipes the sweat from brow.
"Things are going to be different from this day forward, that's for sure." She
looks over at Clarence who sits on the floor. He smiles at her and says "Thanks
for giving me my freedom." She smiles back at him as she fixes her hair "You're
welcome. Just know that things are going to be really crazy for a few days." He
looks at her and asks "Why is that? I thought things would be easy once I was
freed." She goes over to a small fridge and pulls out two bottles of water. She
opens one and hands it to Clarence "Here is some water, you must be thirsty." He
grabs the small bottle and looks at it. It is his first encounter with bottled
water. He is used to drinking from a lake or a trough. Even in jail he drank
from a large bucket. She then opens her bottle and takes a long drink. He
watches her and then does the same. But unlike her, he quickly empties the
bottle into his large mouth. "That is cold. Reminds me of when I would go out
after winter was over and drink from the stream. The water was so cold and so
good. I would wish that I could keep it that cold into the summer when it was
hot and the water was not so cool or refreshing." She laughs and says "I guess
being a cow, you were not aware of refrigeration." He smiles as he hands her the
bottle. He then asks "Can we go to the library?" She smiles at him and says "I
think we can do that. The reporters should be leaving soon. She then finishes
her bottle and sets it on the desk. "We have a dinner date with the governor
tonight." He looks at her and says "I met him at the courtroom. He said he had
big plans for me. What did he mean?" She laughs as she replies "You are going to
find that allot of people have big plans for you. You are what they call a
celebrity." He has no idea what she it talking about. "What is a celebrity?" She
laughs as she is not used to someone who doesn't know about celebrities. "A
celebrity is someone who is more famous and more known that most people. They
get famous for being good in sports or making music or movies." He looks at her
with an odd look "I don't do any of those. Why am I a celebrity?" She laughs
"Because you are unique. You are the only talking cow in the world and that
makes you famous." He looks down at the floor as thinks about what she said.
Once again, he wonders if leaving the farm was such a good idea. Things have
been such a whirlwind since he left.
As they sit there and rest, Betty Lee grabs Clarence another
bottle of water. Once again, he gulps it down. "Guess we will need to buy more
water." she says as she keeps drinking from her first bottle. She then asks "Can
I ask where you learned to read?" Clarence looks puzzled by the question. He
stops to think about it and he is at a loss for an explanation. "I really don't
know, I just could." She leans back in her chair and thinks about it. "Just knew
how, that is so odd. Were you abducted by aliens or something?" He has no idea
what she is talking about. "What does abducted by aliens mean?" She laughs as
she should have known that he would not understand that question. "Aliens are
creatures that come from another planet or so people speculate. And abduction is
when they come down and capture you." He thinks about that and asks "Sorta like
what the police did with me?" She breaks out laughing at his response. He laughs
too, but does not understand why. "I guess it is sorta like that. Let me try
this differently, when you were a cow in the field, did you see any strange
lights? Did any strange looking men come down?" This really makes him confused.
"Not that I am aware of. We saw kids sometimes at night come in and push the
cows over. Is that what you mean?" Once again, she breaks out in laughter.
"That's what is called cow toppling. But no, that is not the same. Forget about
the abduction."
After a few hours of talking, Betty Lee looks outside and
sees that the reporters have indeed left. "I think the coast is clear, we can
try going to the library." As she gets up, Clarence asks her "Do you have any
straw I can use?" She gives him an odd look and asks "Straw? What do you need
straw for?" He looks at her and says "I need to go to the bathroom." She laughs
at him and says "Now that you are a human, you need to go to the bathroom like a
human. There is no way I am cleaning up your hay." A sad look comes over his
face as he feels he upset her. "How does a human go to the bathroom?" She laughs
and says "Follow me and I will show you."
In the bathroom, Betty Lee shows him the toilet and says
"What you do is position yourself as such and then go to the bathroom into this
toilet. Then when you are done, you flush this handle and it will go down." He
smiles and says "OK, I will try it. Can you help me?" She breaks out laughing
and says "Humans go to the bathroom by themselves. You will do fine." She then
closes the door and waits outside. After a few minutes, she hears the toilet
flush. Then it flushes again. She then hears "Betty Lee, I think your toilet is
broke." She opens the door and there is Clarence who is standing there as the
toilet is overflowing. There is water all over the floor and the place stinks.
As she comes up to the toilet, she sees that it is clogged as he really went.
There is too much manure to flush down and it clogged up the toilet. She runs
over and grabs a plunger and starts trying to get it to go down. It takes about
four flushes to get it down, but she is finally able to fix the toilet. She then
runs over and opens the window. The stench is overwhelming. "I forgot how much a
cow can go. You will have to go to the bathroom some, then flush and then go to
the bathroom some more." Clarence has a sad look on his face as he says "I'm
sorry." Betty Lee then leaves the room and grabs a mop to clean up the floor.
With the bathroom crisis behind them, the two head to the
library. As Betty Lee predicted, the reporters have left. She makes sure to look
real good before she lets Clarence out. But once she realizes that the coast is
clear, the two of them hit the street. As they walk down the street, towards the
library, they are unaware of a man who is sitting in a car, park inconspicuously
down the street. The man is watching them through a pair of binoculars. He pulls
out a cell phone and makes a call. "Jimmy, yeah this is Perry. The cow is on the
move. They just left her office and are headed south. Yeah, that is the
direction of the library. Will meet you there." As he hangs up the phone, he
reaches for his microphone and looks in the rear view mirror to make sure it
looks good. He then starts up the car and slowly pulls out. He drives down the
street very slowly, so as not to spook them.
In the local diner, Jimmy hangs up the phone and calls over
the waitress. As the middle age woman comes over in her white dress with various
stains on it, he hands her a twenty and says "This should cover my meal. Keep
the change." He then gets up from the small booth and heads out the door in a
hurry. The lady looks stunned as his bill was only five dollars. The diner is
full of other reporters and one of them calls the waitress over and asks "How
much did he just tip you?" She is still staring at the twenty and says "Fifteen
dollars." The man then looks over at the guy sitting across from him and says
"Something is up. Jimmy never tips that well." He then calls the lady over and
hands her a twenty as well. "We gotta go, keep the change." Once again, she is
stunned. Their meals came to eleven dollars and a three dollar tip would be
generous. But a nine dollar tip is incredible. They jump up and rush out the
door as well. This is the signal to all the other reporters that something is
definitely up and soon, everybody is doing the same thing. They are all dropping
a twenty or so on the table and rushing out the door. Within five minutes, the
diner goes from nearly packed with all twenty booths filled and the counter
jammed to being empty, except for a few regulars at the counter. The lady is
holding a handful of twenties and has a big smile. She heads over to the cook,
who is busy flipping some burgers and shows him the wad of money. There is
easily four hundred dollars there, which is way more than they ever do for a
whole day, let alone just for lunch. She smiles at him as he stares in disbelief
at the money and says "Let's close up for the day and go get some lunch." The
cook gives her a dirty look and says "And go where? We are the only restaurant
in town."
As Clarence and Betty Lee enter the library, Clarence is
instantly greeted by a rush of small children. "Clarence!" the children yell as
they rush over and start hugging on him. The word about Clarence has spread
quickly through town and now he is celebrity. Clarence is stunned by the
greeting and just smiles. It was only a few days ago that people were scared of
him at the library, but now they love him. A little girl with blond pigtails
hands Clarence a picture she drew. "I drew a picture of you Clarence." she says
as she hands the crayon drawing of Clarence. It shows him standing in front of
the library with kids around him. "Thank you." he says to her. Another boy then
asks "Clarence, can you read us a book?" He smiles and says "Sure, do you have
one in mind?" All the children hold up books and say "Read this one." He reaches
out and grabs a book. Betty Lee jumps in and says "Why don't we go to the
sitting area to read the story?" They all scream and run over to the small area
where they have a bunch of bean bag chairs for the children to sit in. Clarence
sits down on the floor in front of all the children and looks at the stack of
books the children have placed before him. He is not used to this attention.
When he was just a bull, the calves would spend their time with the mother cow
and not really bother with the bull. This was kinda nice to have young children
want to be by him. He grabs the first book and looks at the cover. "Green Eggs
and Ham." he says as he reads the title. The children all scream in delight as
they love this book.
As Betty Lee and the mothers watch Clarence read the book to
the children, they cannot help but smile. For such a large and powerful
creature, he is very gentle and has a way with children. Instead of jumping
around and being silly, the children are all sitting there and listening
intently. Story time at the library has never gone this well. While this is
usually the time when the mothers would go and find books for themselves, none
of them leave. They are just as enthralled with Clarence as the children.
As the stories continue, the reporters show up. As they make
their way into the library to come over and interview Clarence, they are stopped
by the group of mothers. While some of these reporters have gone into war zones
for stories, they have yet to face a more dangerous threat than a group of angry
mothers. "Clarence is busy reading to our children. You will have to wait your
turn." a very adamant mother tells the reporters as all the mothers block their
path. One of the more brazen reporters says "Move aside, we have just as much
right to be here." But before he can get through, he finds that these country
mothers are allot stronger and more determined than the city ones he has
encountered. He is not only stopped, he is pushed back with force. Realizing
that he is not getting past, he steps back and says "Fine, we'll wait. But you
just blew your chance of being on the news."
Clarence the Cow ©
2007 Tom Zjaba
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