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Clarence the Cow
Issue #6
by Tom Zjaba
Chapter Six
At The Governor's Mansion
Betty Lee is working to get the tie around Clarence's neck
again. She wants him to look good for his visit with the governor. She can tell
that he is very tired, but this is an opportunity that they cannot pass up. As
much as she does not want to see Clarence get exploited, she does feel that
there is a good financial opportunity for him. While he may not understand the
need for money now, the longer he stays in the human world, the more he will
learn its value. As much as she tries to deny it to herself, part of her wants
to ride his coattails and become famous and wealthy as well. She wants to remain
a small town girl, but she would like to be a rich small town girl. She still
has college loans to pay as well as the mortgage on her house. And she really
could use a new car. Part of her feels dirty for even thinking of cashing in on
Clarence, but she knows that if she doesn't do it, someone else will. And that
person may not have Clarence's best interest in mind. Being so naive, it would
be easy for someone to take him to the cleaners. Clarence knows nothing about
contracts or percentages. Thinking about how she can make sure he is taken care
of fairly, makes her feel better and not so dirty.
Once the tie is on, she allows Clarence to sit down and rest.
He has been through allot between reading six books to the children and then
giving them rides in the parking lot. As much as he did not want to return to
four feet, he just couldn't say no to their cute little faces. Then he spent two
hours answering questions from the press. His willingness to spend time with
them has made him quite popular with the press. They are so used to celebrities
who ignore them and push right past them. But Clarence is different. He does not
find it burdensome to stop and talk with the press. And he gives great quotes as
he is completely honest, which is refreshing. Happy to be off his feet, Clarence
just wants to relax and drink some more bottled water. She hands him a bottle
and watches as he downs it in one gulp. He is still so amazed by bottled water.
And Betty Lee is so amazed at how excited he gets about things that she has
taken for granted. She thinks about the children at the library. She has been
there a dozen times and never bothered to even look at any of the children. The
thought of spending time with kids was the farthest thing from her mind. She
spent her adult life working towards goals. Finishing college, getting into a
quality law school, taking the bar exam, starting her own business. There was
always one more goal to reach. She has never stopped to breath and enjoy life.
But now that Clarence has entered her life, she is looking at things in a whole
different way.
Clarence brings her out of her daydream as he asks for
another bottle of water. "We have about a half hour before the governor's limo
picks us up." she says as she reaches in her fridge for another bottle of water
for Clarence. Once again, he downs it in a single gulp. As she looks in her
fridge, she realizes that she better get allot more water.
A car beeps it horn outside. As Betty Lee goes over to the
window, she sees that the limo is here and it is early. As she expected, it is a
super stretch limo. "Our ride is here. Time to ride in style." she says as
Clarence gets up and looks out at the huge, black limousine. "That's for us?" he
asks as he did not know they made cars that long. "Yeah, he wants to make a big
impression." she says as she closes the curtains. They head outside and find the
press is waiting. As they make their way to the limo, they are barraged by
flashing bulbs. Clarence going to meet with the governor is big news and they
all want to have a picture. He smiles and waves as Betty Lee pulls him towards
the limo. The driver gets out and opens the door for them. He stares in awe at
the large bull as he squishes his way into the car. While a limo is quite roomy,
it is still a bit of a challenge to get Clarence in the door. But once he enters
the limo, he finds there is ample room for him. His head is hitting the ceiling,
but otherwise he is fine. Betty Lee sits opposite him, so he can lay down and
rest if he so chooses. It is a long ride to the governor's mansion and hopes he
gets some rest. For the first time, she realizes that they have not eaten all
day. They had breakfast, but otherwise they've been too busy to eat. She sure
hopes the governor has some edible food for Clarence. The customary steak would
be awkward. She did not think of this before and worries if Clarence will be
offended or even have anything to eat. But it is too late to worry about that
now, the driver has pulled away. After they get past the crowd of reporters and
photographers, he calls her on the phone. She answers it and says "Hello." The
driver then says to her "What kind of music would you like?" She smiles and says
"Something soft and relaxing. We had a busy day." The driver pauses for a second
and then asks "Is soft rock fine?" Madeline nods and says "That would be fine."
A few seconds later, they hear Seals and Croft "Summer Breeze" playing over the
radio. She looks at Clarence and says "Why don't you lay down and get some rest.
We have a long drive." He smiles at her and lays down. As his head rests on the
seat, she can see his eyes getting droopy. He looks at her as fatigue sets in.
The last thing he sees before he succumbs to sleep is her face. He likes the
warm smile she has on her face as she looks at him. It makes him feel relaxed.
Within a minute, he is asleep. She reaches over and rubs his head lightly. She
cannot help mothering him as her maternal instincts kick in. She has not felt
like this since she was on her daddy's farm and he let her keep one of the
ducklings for a pet.
After a two hour drive, they finally arrive at Terrace Hill.
On the highest hill in Des Moines, sits the luxurious governor's mansion. Betty
Lee smiles as they make their way up the hill. She remembers taking a trip here
in high school. She dreamed of coming back one day for business. She wasn't sure
if she wanted to be governor, but she really wanted to come back here. From the
grand staircase that was made of six different kinds of woods to the Victorian
garden, she fell in love with the place. And the history was also intriguing.
She remembers the tour guide telling the class how it was built in 1869 by
Iowa's first millionaire. And now how it houses the governor and his family.
As the limo pulls up, they see the governor, his wife and
some other people waiting for him. Betty Lee leans over and gently shakes
Clarence. "Time to wake up. We are here." At first he does not respond. So she
does it again, but with a little more force. "Wake up Clarence, we are here."
she says as she tries to wake him from his slumber. His eyes start to open as he
looks around and realizes he is still in the limo. "How long was I asleep?" he
asks as he slowly sits up. "Almost two hours. That nap should recharge your
batteries." Clarence is unsure what that means, but he is polite and agrees with
her. As the limo comes to a halt in front of the mansion, the governor has one
of his bodyguards open the door. "Welcome to my home! You are just in time for
dinner." he says as they slowly slink out of the limo. Once Clarence gets out,
the car rises back up. While it is stronger than an average car and can handle
larger loads, Clarence does give it a workout.
As Clarence looks at the mansion, he is overwhelmed by the
sheer size of it. He thought their barn was big, but this things dwarfs it.
"There must be allot of people living in this house." he says as he stares at
the immense size of it. "Not really. There is only a handful of us living here."
the governor says as he can see that Clarence has never seen a mansion before.
"If you don't have allot of people living here, why do you need such a big
house?" Clarence asks as he cannot understand the over-indulgence of humans and
the need for status. The governor laughs as he says "You have allot to learn
about the human world, my friend." He then goes over and puts his arm around
Clarence and leads him into the house. "You must be hungry. We have a whole meal
prepared with you in mind." he says as the two of them walk towards the house.
The rest of the people follow after them with Betty Lee and his wife directly
behind them.
As they enter the mansion, they pass through two sets of very
large and very heavy doors. There are men there to open them as they weigh a few
hundred pounds. They enter the vestibule, which is the greeting room for guests.
As Betty Lee looks around, she is impressed by the beautiful woodwork. The
governor gives them a quick tour of the mansion, including the stain glassed
windows that go from floor to ceiling. They also see the crystal chandeliers,
the marble fireplaces and some statues. Betty Lee speaks up and says "It is a
lovely tour, but Clarence and I haven't eaten since this morning. Could we
possibly finish the tour later?" The governor smiles and says "Of course, you
are the guests. I apologize. We are so used to giving tours that it comes
naturally." With that, they all agree to go to the dining room for dinner. The
governor takes out his cell phone and makes a quick call. "Get dinner ready. We
will be there in a few minutes." Most of the food has been prepared ahead of
time and it is just a matter of bringing it up from the kitchen in the basement.
As they enter the dining hall, Clarence is impressed by the
large table. There is a very long, solid oak table that fills the middle of the
spacious hall. It looks like it could seat twenty people with ease. The chairs
are also oak with leather cushions on them. On the table is a large amount of
food, all looking delicious. It looks like a vegetarian smorgasbord with all the
food being non meat. There is a huge bowl of salad, a large plate of corn on the
cob, various grilled vegetables and other dishes. He is unsure what to do now.
In the cow world, he would always be first to the trough to eat. Since he was
the dominant bull in the herd, he got first dibs on the food. But here in the
human world, he is unsure how it works. "Come over and sit next to me,
Clarence." the governor says as he leads him to the end of the table. Betty Lee
comes over to sit on the other side of Clarence. The governor's wife, a stunning
blonde who even though she is pushing fifty, still has the body of a twenty year
old, sits down next to the governor. She is wearing a black evening gown that
makes Betty Lee look way under dressed. The governor is in one of his typical
suits. He is always seen in one of his many suits. He prefers solid colors with
black and navy blue being among his favorites. Some people have joked that he
sleeps in a suit because they never see him in anything else. As they are
seated, a lady comes over and asks "What would you like to drink?" Clarence
looks at her with an odd look. He has never had anything to drink in his life
except milk and water. And he only had milk as a calf. His puzzled look and lack
of a response prompts the governor to step in. "Clarence, you have got to try
the sweet tea. We have the absolute best sweet tea in the state here." Clarence
has no idea what sweet tea is, but he nods in agreement. "Bring out a couple of
pitchers of sweet tea." the governor says as the lady then comes over to Betty
Lee. "Do you want sweet tea as well?" Betty Lee really wants a glass of wine but
is unsure if she should have any. The governor's wife steps in and says "We have
some really good white wine as well." Betty Lee smiles and says "You just read
my mind." She then says "Bring out a bottle of white wine. One of the better
ones" She then comes around the table and sits next to Betty Lee. "I have been
dying for someone to share a bottle of wine with me." she says as she sits down
next to her.
As the woman brings over two pitchers of sweet tea, she puts
a large glass in front of Clarence and fills it. She then fills the governor's
glass. "So tell me Clarence, have you ever had any tea before?" Clarence looks
at the odd liquid and replies "The only thing I ever drank was water. That and
milk when I was a calf." The governor picks up his glass and holds it up. "Well
Clarence, you are in for a treat." Clarence then lifts up his glass and looks at
the murky color. He brings it up to his mouth and takes a small sip. Unlike the
water, he is more cautious with the sweet tea. As he tastes the sweetness, his
eyes bulge out. Cows live a life with little taste. Grass and hay have little
taste to them. Water is refreshing but once again, not allot of taste. But this
sweet tea is full of taste. He has never tasted anything this sweet before. He
likes it so much that he brings the glass back up to his mouth and drinks down
the rest of it. "That is really good!" he says as he finishes off the whole
glass. The governor laughs at how excited Clarence is by the tea. He then looks
over at the lady who is bringing the bottle of wine to Betty Lee and says "We
may need a few more pitchers."
Once everyone is set with their drinks, the governor says "I
made sure to have a vegetarian meal for you Clarence. We don't want any mad cow
disease." He then laughs as his wife also laughs. Betty Lee is more shocked by
the comment but smiles to be polite. As usual, Clarence is in the dark about
what is going on. He then asks "What is a vegetarian meal?" Before the governor
can respond, Betty Lee interrupts and says "I will explain it to you later
Clarence." He looks at her as he wonders what is wrong. But the look in her eye
says that they will wait until later. Realizing things are getting a little
tense, the governor steps in and says "We will be having an informal meal. So
feel free to dig in and eat as much as you like. We have some of the best cooks
here and they love cooking for guests." Betty Lee then looks at Clarence and
says "Why don't we start with a salad?" Clarence nods in agreement. He does not
know what a salad is, but he is willing to try it. She grabs the very large bowl
and uses the tongs to fill Clarence's plate with the mixed greens. The salad is
made up of lettuce, cabbage, shaved carrots, cherry tomatoes and diced
cucumbers. She then put some on her plate as well. She then brings over the
different salad dressings and puts a small amount on a spoon and asks Clarence
"Try each one and see which dressing out want on your salad." He is used to
eating his grass plain and is unsure what this dressing stuff is, but after the
sweet tea, he is willing to try anything. The first one is a ranch dressing. He
tastes it and likes it. She then tries an Italian dressing. He makes a weird
face and she determines that he does not like that one. Next, she offers him a
French dressing, which he also likes. He stops her and says "I will go with the
first one." She picks up the bottle of ranch dressing and says "This one?" He
nods as she pours it over his salad. Once she is done, he sticks his head into
the bowl and starts eating. The governor's wife gasps in shock. The governor
just laughs. Betty Lee taps him on the shoulder and says "Clarence, we need to
teach you some table manners. He looks at her with an odd look as she hands him
a fork. He clumsily puts it between his hooves and looks at it. "Watch me." she
says as she shows him the proper way to eat. It takes him a few tries to get it
right, but once he does, he is eating fine. The governor claps at his
accomplishment as does his wife.
As the meal comes to an end, the governor pulls out his cell
phone and makes a quick call. "Bring up the plans. Thanks." As he hangs up the
phone, he looks at Clarence and says "Did you have enough to eat?" Clarence
smiles and says "The food was so delicious. I never knew how drag our food was
until today." The governor laughs as he says "What did they feed you in jail?" A
sad look comes over Clarence's face as he says "They gave me a big bucket of
grains." The governor realizes the mood is getting depressed, so he quickly
changes directions. "So Clarence, what was your favorite food tonight?" The
happy expression returns to Clarence's face as he responds "The corn on the cob
was my favorite. I especially like that butter you put on it." The governor
laughs and says "You know that butter is made from milk." A shocked look comes
over Clarence's face. "Really? How do they do that?" The governor laughs as he
says "They make allot of stuff out of milk. Butter, cheese to name a few." This
really shocks Clarence as he never knew all this could be made from milk. "Where
do they get this milk from?" he asks. "From a cow." he says as he is enjoying
watching how surprised Clarence is by all this. "Really? I never knew. Is that
why they would milk the cows and take the milk?" The governor smiles as he
replies "Yes it is. Dairy farms are an important part of Iowa's economy."
Clarence shakes his head and says "And all this time, I thought you were giving
the milk to your babies. I never knew you could make butter and cheese out of
it."
Betty Lee and the governor's wife, Patricia, are enjoying the
bottle of wine. Patricia asks her "So how did you become Clarence's lawyer?"
Betty Lee takes a sip of the wine and then sets the glass down. "A friend of
mine called me and told me that I had to get to the jail immediately. She says
there was a client that I had to represent." Patricia then refills her glass as
she asks "I bet you were shocked when you found your client was a cow." Betty
Lee laughs as she says "You have no idea. But after talking with him, I realized
that I had to help him." Betty Lee realizes how long it has been since she
enjoyed a good glass of wine. She has been so busy lately that she hasn't done
her usual indulgence of a bubble bath with aromatic candles and a nice glass of
wine. She remembers how much she enjoyed that little pleasure. She would add in
a nice romance novel and have a complete night. And if she was feeling really
naughty, she would add a few chocolate truffles. They were expensive and calorie
ridden, but they just melted in her mouth. Nobody in town sold them, so she had
to order them over the internet. But they were so delectable, they were worth
it.
As everyone is talking, a man walks in, holding some poster
board and an easel. He sets up the easel and puts the poster boards on it. The
governor then rises and says "Time for us to get to the business at hand. While
I did invite you up here to get to you know better, I did want to talk about a
business proposal." Betty Lee snickers a bit as she knew this was coming. She is
interested in seeing what he has cooked up for Clarence. "When I saw you in the
courtroom, I knew right away that we had something special. Iowa is a great
state, but it is not exactly a tourist destination. But I feel that you,
Clarence the Cow, can help change that." Clarence smiles as he is willing to
help out. "I had some of my men draw up some preliminary sketches of some of the
ideas I have for you." He then turns lifts up the blank poster board and shows a
drawing of Clarence waving the state flag. He also is holding some corn. It
reads "Take it from Clarence the Cow, Iowa's a great state!" He then turns over
another that shows Clarence in a baseball uniform. It reads "Iowa Vacations, A
Homerun!" He looks at Clarence and then Betty Lee and asks "So what do you
think?" Betty Lee is unimpressed with them, but does not want to blow it.
Clarence is very excited and says "I think they are great!" The governor smiles
at his approval and then asks Betty Lee "What do you think?" Before she can
answer, Clarence turns around and looks at her with a big, goofy grin. She can
tell that he is completely sold on the idea, even if he does not know all that
it entails. "I like the basic concept, but I think they could use a little work.
What exactly are you pitching here?" The governor looks a little let down by her
answer. He really liked how they were pushing that Iowa was an all American
state with the American Flag and baseball in the ads. "You have to understand,
these are just ideas. My team hasn't had much time to work on them. We aren't
married to any of them." Betty Lee smiles and laughs inside on his quick
recovery. He is definitely a politician. She then asks "But what is the plan?
What kind of commitment are we looking at from Clarence?" The governor forgot
for a moment that he was talking to an attorney. While she is not a copyright
attorney, she did take a class in copyright and trademarks. She understands the
basic rights and how to protect them. She wants to make sure Clarence is
adequately compensated and not exploited. While she has never heard anything bad
about the governor, he is still a politician and she has learned to get
everything in writing. Enough politicians have proven to her that their word is
like their memory, not worth a dime. He smiles as he was ready for this. "Here
is a complete outline of what we have planned as well as a one year contract and
our terms. Feel free to read them over and call me with any questions you have.
I really feel this is a great opportunity for both parties and especially for
the great state of Iowa." He then hands it to her and then pulls a business card
out of his wallet and hands it to her. "This is my business card. Call me as
soon as you had a chance to read it and we can get it signed." He then thanks
them for coming and escorts them out to the limo, which is still waiting.
"Please read it as soon as possible. And let me know if you need anything." he
says as they get into the limo. They wave as the limo drives away. Betty Lee
looks at Clarence and says "I think that went well." Clarence is just sitting
there and thinking about all the great food he ate.
Clarence the Cow ©
2007 Tom Zjaba
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