|
Clarence the Cow
Chapter Ten The limo pulls up to the airport. They get in line with all the other cars at the unloading station. Once they get up there, the car quickly stops and Charles rushes them all out. "Hurry, the security here can be so annoying." Within a minute, they are out of the limo and all their luggage is being carried out by a baggage handler. As the limo pulls away, Charles pulls out his cell phone and makes a quick call. "Can I speak to Gus? This is? Great! Yeah, we are here. At the unloading section. Great! See you in a few." He then hangs up the phone and turns to Clarence and Betty Lee and says "I took the liberty of calling ahead and talking with security. I don't want no gung ho employee holding us up." Then as he always does, he starts looking at his watch. After a minute, he begins to pace as he mumbles "Hurry up Gus. We're in a hurry." After five minutes, Charles pulls his phone out again and prepares to call back Gus. Before he has a chance to, Gus walks out and stops in his tracks. He looks at Clarence, standing there in his suit and he says "Sonnabitch, you really meant a cow." Charles quickly puts away his phone and goes over and shakes Gus' hand. "You must be Gus. Hello, I'm Charles and as you can see, that is Clarence the Cow." He goes over and looks at him. "Hot damn, it's a good thing you called me. The boys inside would have crapped their pants when they saw you." Gus is a big man himself, with a large pot belly that sticks out of his suit. He is tall with large, meaty hands. He once was a lineman in college and never was able to keep the weight off since then. He perspires allot and often pulls out a handkerchief to wipe off his brow. Even though he stands about six foot five and weighs well over three hundred, he looks small next to Clarence. "We could have used you on our football team." he says as he cannot stop staring. Charles comes over and says "So can you get us through security without any delays?" Gus finally breaks away from Clarence and turns to Charles and says "You are going to keep up your end of the bargain, right?" Charles pulls out his cell phone and says "I will even do it one better. You can talk to Ms. Locklear and tell he what you want on your photo." A big smile comes over Gus' face. "I will get to talk to the Heather Locklear?" Charles nods as he dials the phone. "Hello, this is Charles with Prime Star. Can you put me through to Ms. Locklear? Tell her it is important." He then looks over at Gus and says "I'm the one who got her the hair color deal. She owes me, big time." After a minute, he hears a voice. "Heather? Yeah, this is Charles. Yeah, I'm doing great. Remember when you said you owed me big time for the hair color deal? Yeah? Well, I need a really big favor right now. What? Yeah, I know the contract is about to expire, but I have an extension ready to be signed. Yeah, they love you as a spokesperson. I told you it was a great deal. Remember who had to talk you into it. Anyway, I really need a big favor from you. No, it's not a Melrose reunion. It has nothing to do with Tommy Lee. Here it is, I have an associate who would like an autographed photo of you. Could you speak to him for a minute, so he can tell you what to put on the photo? Thanks. Your the best and that extension contract will be in the mail on Monday. Yeah, you got the raise you wanted. I told you I would get it for you. Thanks and here is Gus." He then hands the phone over to Gus. A huge smile comes over his face and he looks like a kid on Christmas morning. "Heather? Yeah, this is Gus. I am your biggest fan. Really, I have been a huge fan since the early days. Yeah, Gus is signed with one "s". Could you put "To Gus, my big cuddly teddy bear. Love Heather. I know it is a little mushy. Thank you so much. Your gonna what? Oh, you are going to put me on hold so your secretary can take my address. Great. Thanks so much for this. Yeah, you too. Goodbye." He then smiles as he waits for the secretary to answer. After he gives his information, he turns to Charles and gives him a huge hug. "Thanks man, I will personally see that you get right through." Charles is struggling to breath as the large man hugs him. Betty Lee just laughs. Clarence's past owner, the farmer on his farm is on the
phone and making a call. Ted - Hey Mitch, what can I do for you?" Mitch - "I was wondering if you could help me. Remember that bull I bought from you a while back?" Ted - "If I remember correctly, it was about five years ago. You do know that I only guarantee the animals for six months." Mitch - "No, it's nothing like that. I was wondering if there was a way that I could identify the animal?" Ted - "What's wrong with your brand? You know that is why we brand our animals." Mitch - "I know all about brands. But I recently lost my bull and I think I found him but I need to be able to prove it." Ted - "Well, all my bulls come from one of three fathers. If you were willing to pay the money and get a blood sample of the bull, it could be possible to check its DNA or something." Mitch - "Would you know where I could go for a test like that?" Ted - "What is this about? Did someone steal your bull or what?" Mitch - "If you can keep this quiet, you know that Clarence the Cow character that turned up in Peterson?" Ted - "Yeah, I think everyone in the state knows about him. Heck, probably the country." Mitch - Well, he showed up right after my bull got loose. I am pretty sure they are the same." Ted - "Then why don't you just check for your brand?" Mitch - I did. I got the police and everything. But there was no brand." Ted - "Then why are you bothering me. He obviously isn't your bull." Mitch - "You remember how I had to get another bull?" Ted - Yeah, I remember." Mitch - Well, I think that I may have forgotten to brand him. Ted - "Well, all I can tell you is to find a lab that does blood work and get a sample." Mitch - "Yeah, I will do that. Oh and I will be needed another bull. Do you have any?" Ted - Yeah, I have some. Come down and we can work something out." Mitch - Great! I will do that." He then hangs up the phone and smiles. "I will get that damn bull back and get filthy rich off him." he says as he rubs his hands together. He then grabs the yellow pages and starts looking through for a lab. Clarence looks up at the plane with a concerned look on his face. "How does it flap its wings?" he asks Betty Lee who is standing next to him. She laughs at the silly question and says "It doesn't. It is jet propelled." Clarence keeps looking at the private jet sitting there. He has never seen a plane and no matter what she says, he is not convinced it is safe. He has seen birds fly. There were always ducks and sometimes geese by the lake where the cows came to drink. But the birds always flapped their wings to fly. But these wings are solid. He does not know how they can flap. Charles comes behind them and says "Come on, we are on a tight schedule. Let's get aboard." Betty Lee turns to him and says "Clarence is afraid to fly." Charles throws up his hands and says "Couldn't you tell me about this a little sooner. We are at the airport, people. We have a plane that is waiting to take off. It is a little too late to be taking a train." Betty Lee glares at him and says "Just get on the plane and let me handle this." Charles looks at his watch and says "This plane leaves in five minutes. If he is not on that plane, the contract is null and void. Understand?" She turns to him and says "Just get on the plane and save your threats for someone who doesn't know law." With that, Charles turns and rushes up the stairs of the plane. He huffs all the way up the stairs. With him out of the picture, Betty Lee turns to Clarence and says "I know it looks scary, but trust me, it is perfectly safe." Clarence looks at her and says "It is too big to fly." Betty Lee grabs his hoof and holds it tight. "You have to trust me. Remember how you trusted me with the pizza?" Clarence looks at her and smiles as he shakes his head yes. "Remember how you trusted me with the ice cream? You loved that ice cream." Once again, Clarence shakes his head yes. "Well, now you have to trust me again. It will be perfectly safe and in no time, we will be in New York City and I promise you that we will get a giant pizza for dinner and ice cream for dessert." A huge smile comes over Clarence's face. "I do trust you. I will get on board." With that, she leads him up the plane, holding his hoof all the way. The plane takes off on time. Charles is relieved as he was getting worried. But he is not even close to how worried Clarence is as he watches the plane head upwards. Betty Lee gave him a window seat and he is both in awe and scared by the flight. Being a cow, he is used to having his feet planted firmly on the ground. He has never had his feet not on the ground. But now he is flying up and the ground is getting further and further away. He looks over at Betty Lee, who is across the aisle as Clarence needs allot of room, and looks worried. Realizing that this may be a bit more challenging than she thought, she calls over the stewardess and says "Do you have something sweet that we could give him? It may take his mind off the flight." She thinks for a moment and says "We may have some mints. But being a private jet, we don't stock a big selection." Betty Lee then thinks and asks "How about soda pop? Do you have any soda pop?" The stewardess nods and says "Yes, we have Coca Cola. But you may want to wait until we get past the turbulence." Betty Lee then points at Clarence and says "I think it would be better to have some pop spill than a scared bull running around the plane." The stewardess then looks over at Clarence who is rocking back and forth with a scared look on his face. She then turns to Betty Lee and says "Good point." She then hurries over to get some pop. Once the plane gets above the clouds, things calm down. When Clarence cannot see the ground, he feels better. Even though he knows they are in the air, something about seeing the ground makes it much scarier. The clouds are completely different. They calm him. Probably because he never really paid attention to clouds before. He knows that he saw them as he looked up. But when he was a cow, he only cared about what he could reach or could affect him. Clouds were high in the sky and of no use to him. He never thought he would be flying among the clouds, that's for sure. But as he looks at the clouds, he wonders what they taste like. He then wonders why he wants to know what they taste like. Ever since he came into the human world, he found a whole new world of tastes. He now craves food and drink. Before they were something to sustain life. He liked the taste of grass, but it was always the same. And water was refreshing, but so boring. Now he has tasted Coca Cola and sweet tea. He enjoyed salads with dressing and ice cream. And pizza is something that he could never have imagined as a cow. Not in a million years. He wonders what else there is out there to eat. He looks over at Betty Lee who is chewing some gum. "What is that?" he asks her as she looks up from her book. "Bubble gum. Wanna try some?" Clarence shakes his head yes. She digs in her purse and pulls out a piece and hands it to him. He puts it in his mouth, wrapper and all, and chews it once and swallows it. "Is that it?" he asks as it does not seem like much. She giggles and says "First off, you are supposed take it out of the wrapper." she pulls out another piece and demonstrates. "Second, you are supposed to chew it, not swallow it." She then puts the piece in her mouth and starts chewing in an exaggerated manner to make a point. "Third, you can blow bubbles with it." she says as she blows a large bubble and then deflates it. This makes Clarence's eyes open wide as he is excited by this new treat. "Let me try again." he asks as he puts out his hoof. "Well, I better give you a few pieces as you have big mouth." She then pulls out three pieces and takes them out of the wrapper for him. She places them in his hoof and he immediately puts them in his mouth. He begins chewing them, fighting the urge to swallow them. As he chews the gum longer, he tastes the sweet taste. "This is really good." he says as he looks over at Betty Lee who is blowing a bubble. She smiles at him and gives him a thumbs up. He then asks "Can you teach me to make a bubble?" She smiles and says "Sure, it is easy." But before she can begin her lesson, Charles overhears them and rushes over. "Oh no. The last thing I need is to try and get gum out of his fur." Betty Lee looks at him and then an image of Clarence covered in gum enters her mind and she begins laughing. "What's so funny? I doubt it will be you who is trying to get the gum out." She stops laughing and says "I'm sorry, I was just imagining Clarence covered in gum." He then thinks about it for a moment and he begins to snicker as well. "While that is a funny image, let's not let it happen." She then laughs a little and says "OK, you have my word." He turns and heads back to his seat. She then turns to Clarence and says "Sorry." A sad look comes over his face as he says "I understand." He then returns to looking out the window at the clouds. The plane lands down at the JFK airport. Clarence looks out in amazement at all the planes that are there. His eyes grow wide with excitement as he looks at all the new sites. Betty Lee is also amazed as she has never been to New York City. The biggest city she has ever been to was Las Vegas. While she was impressed with Las Vegas, her first dream was to go to Washington DC with New York City being a close second. Being a lawyer, DC always impressed her because that is where all the laws are made. But New York City is the heart of the business world. With Wall Street, this is the place where fortunes are made and lost. Mergers and takeovers happen here. And that is very exciting for an attorney as large corporations all have legal departments. As they get off the plane, they are greeted by a man who is wearing a suit and holding a sign that reads "Clarence the Cow." As he sees Clarence coming off the plane, he rushes over and says "Hello, my name is Nathan and I will be your chauffer." Betty Lee shakes his hand as does Clarence. When Charles sees the sign, he tries to get up front to meet with the man. "I'm Charles and I am in charge of this group." The man looks at him oddly as he just pushed his way in. "Oh, I was told to pick up Clarence the Cow and his attorney for dinner. Charles gets a bit upset "Surely, there is an error. I am his agent and I need to be present at all functions." The man pulls out his paper and looks at it. "Sorry, but it says to pick up two people...err one person and one cow." Charles grabs the paper out of his hand and looks at it. It comes from the head of NBC. Charles hands the paper back and says "There is an error, I will get this corrected." He pulls out his trusty phone and makes a call. "Yeah, this is Charles. Did you know anything about Clarence having dinner with the head of NBC? You did? Why am I not present at this meeting? What do you mean I need to get the hotel reservations set? I am his agent, he needs me there. I understand. I don't agree with it, but I understand." He then hangs up the phone and says "Well, I have to get our hotel rooms ready. Enjoy your meal and don't sign any contracts until I get a chance to read them." Betty Lee smiles and says "Trust me, I won't." Her and Clarence then follow the man as he walks out. She turns around and smiles at Charles, which really infuriates him. As they make their way out of the airport terminal, everyone stops to look at Clarence. New Yorkers are used to seeing many strange things, but a walking cow wearing a suit is not one of them. Everyone is either watching or pointing. The kids are excited to see a cow in the airport. A few women become scared and try to get away from him. They are fearful of the horns, which can look quite menacing. But Clarence just smiles and waves to everyone. Once they get out of the airport, they wait for the limo to come back around. With the strict rules in airports, it cannot just wait. But it only takes a few minutes for the limo to show up and pick them up. Nathan opens the door for them and then gets in the front seat with the driver. Once they take off, Betty Lee hears the phone next to her ring. She picks it up and she hears a voice "Hello, this is Steven Dale. I am in charge of show development for NBC. I would like to thank you for coming to dinner with us." Betty Lee smiles and says "No problem, but I wish I had more notice. I am hardly dressed for a fancy dinner." There is a moment of silence. Then he asks "Can you shop quickly?" She smiles and says "It should be no problem." There is another moment of silence. He then says "Here is Ricardo from Elegant Gowns. Give him your measurement and he will have some dresses ready for you to try on. Don't worry about cost, we will take care of it. Just be as speedy as possible." Betty Lee almost squeals in delight. "Thank you and I will be as quick as possible." There is a moment of silence and then she hears a different voice "Hello ma'am, This is Ricardo. Please give me your measurements." Clarence the Cow © 2007 Tom Zjaba |
|
[Main
Page] [Colt
the Armadillo] [Crossed
Swords] [Unicorn
Kings] [Prose
Stories] |