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Zero and DDOJ
Issue #4
by Tom Zjaba
Chapter Five
Cleveland Rocks
Late that night, their bus arrived in downtown
Cleveland, Ohio. As they made their way out of the Greyhound bus, DDOJ was
waving goodbye to all the people as they left. A few waved back to him but most
gave him a dirty look. Most people were not used to such friendliness. Before
they left the station, Zero grabbed a copy of the Scene, a free magazine. He
figured it would give him something to read in the hotel. The two of them then
hailed a cab and headed to the nearest hotel. At the hotel, they were greeted by
a clean room with two twin beds and a large color television. There was even a
remote that was attached to the small desk between the beds. It had a long chain
on it, much like the pens at the bank. DDOJ went right over to the television
and turned it on. "Use the remote, it's easier." Zero says to him. He gives Zero
a strange look and says "What's a remote?" Zero puts his head in his hands and
shakes his head. He then says "Come here and I will show you." DDOJ comes over
and gets a quick lesson on how to operate a television remote. Once Zero is
done, he goes over to the small table and starts reading the Scene magazine.
DDOJ is having a field day with the remote and just changing the channels over
and over. There is a huge smile on his face and he is in heaven. As Zero reads
the magazine, he is shocked. There is an ad for a concert at a small venue with
someone he once knew. He looks at the date and time and realizes that it is
tonight and starts in an hour. "This must be fate." he says as he throws down
the magazine and calls the front desk "Can I get a cab sent here?" he asks the
person at the front desk. When he gets a positive response, he rushes over and
jumps in the shower. But before he starts it, he opens the door and yells to
DDOJ "I am in the shower, do not disturb me." DDOJ is too busy playing with his
new toy and ignores him.
As Zero leaves the shower, he hurries and gets dressed. He
runs a comb quickly through his hair and says to DDOJ as he is leaving "I am
going out for awhile. Stay here and I will see you in the morning." DDOJ just
waves as he keeps changing the channels. Zero then rushes down the stairs and
finds the cab waiting for him. "Take me to this place." he says as he shows the
article to the cab driver. "Yeah, I know where that is." he says and off they
go. Zero looks up to make sure the guy is starting the meter at zero. Having
been a cabbie, he knows some of their tricks. This guy seems to be on the up and
up, so he sits back and relaxes. It will be good to see his old friend again. It
has been years since they saw each other and it will be interesting to see if he
remembers him.
Click. Click. Click. That is all the sound in the hotel room.
Just the clicking sound of DDOJ as he looks through the channels. Back in the
orphanage, they had one small black and white television that only received
three channels, none of them really well. But he enjoyed watching it anyway. It
wasn't until years later that he realized the television was black and white. It
was when he saw a Godzilla movie at the theatre and noticed he was green. It was
his first movie and he was so amazed to see a moving picture in color. After
that, he would sneak out and go to the department store where he would go and
watch the televisions that were on sale. Most of the time, the salesmen would
ignore him and only come at closing time to let him know they were closing. At
the store, he never had a choice of what he would watch, it was whatever was on.
At the orphanage, someone always monitored what they watched. But now he had a
choice of what to watch and it was mind boggling. But then he saw a commercial
that made him stop. It was one of the late night commercials for a nightclub.
"Come to Kitty's Lounge, where the party people go." was the catchphrase. It
showed men and women dancing around and looked like a fun place. DDOJ smiled and
said "I'm a party person." Memories of the frat party were still in his head. He
remembered dancing and kissing and how much fun he had that night. He wanted to
have a good time again and he was going to Kitty's Lounge. He headed downstairs
and stood outside waiting for a cab. Ten minutes passed and he still stood
there. A man from the hotel came out and asked him if he needed help. He said "I
want to go to Kitty's Lounge and I am waiting for a cab." The man looked at him
and asked "Would you like me to call you a cab?" He nodded and smiled at the
guy. Within minutes, a cab showed up and picked him up. After he entered, the
cabbie said "Where ya headed?" DDOJ smiled and said "I wanna go to Kitty's
Lounge, where the party people are." The man gave him a strange look and said
"Are you sure? I don't think its a good idea." DDOJ just smiled and said "I am a
party person and I want to go to Kitty's Lounge with the other party people."
The guy turned around and said as he drove off "It's your funeral."
Zero was sitting at a table in a small bar. It is dark and
there is a thick layer of smoke in the air. There are a dozen tables positioned
around a small stage in the back of the bar. The tables are round and have a
slight wobble to them. The chairs are wooden and in need of some work. The table
he is sitting at has some band names carved into it. He reads them and figures
they must be local bands as he never heard of any of them. As Zero looks around
the room, he sees that about half the tables are occupied. Not exactly a big
crowd. The bartender looks disappointed. He was hoping for a bigger turnout.
Zero tried to help things with the beer in front of him and the basket of
chicken wings and fries. He wasn't really hungry, but he knew the lack of
attendance and the cheapness of the other patrons was wearing on the bartender,
who most likely was also the bar owner. As Zero ate his hot chicken wings, he
saw a light turn on the stage. It beamed down on the center of the stage, right
where a stool and a microphone were positioned. From behind a curtain came a man
who looks to be in his late fifties. Zero knows he is only in his early forties
but the music business has aged him considerably. There is a round of applause
as he sits down on the stool and positions his acoustic guitar. He takes a drag
of his cigarette and then drops the bud on the stages and crushes it with his
worn cowboy boot. He is balding with his graying hair pulled into a pony tail
that looks like it is pulling his hairline back. His blue eyes are almost hidden
by a pair of thick glasses that also hide the rings around his eyes from lack of
sleep. He has a goatee that is jet black, which looks really strange with the
gray hair. He obviously dyes his goatee but why he does not dye the rest of his
hair is anyone's guess. He slowly sits on the stool and looks out at the crowd.
He smiles, even if it is forced. He is also disappointed by the low turnout and
knows the owner will be asking for a pay cut. As he peers over the crowd, he
does not notice Zero. He then pulls the guitar close and starts to strum on it.
The sound of music gently glides through the bar. Note by note, the sad but
sweet song fills the room. After a few minutes, he stops playing and pulls the
microphone close to him and adjusts it. "Hello, I'm Johnny Note." When the last
word is said, he begins strumming faster on his guitar. The song is a catchy
song and Zero recognizes it. It is the one hit he had when he was a member of
the Mad Katz. As he breaks into the chorus of "Capture a Dream" the song he
wrote about chasing after fame and fortune. The song was a number one hit back
in the 1970's when the Mad Katz were a hot group. It was the first single
released from their debut album "Chasing Moonbeams." It was the only hit
released from the album as the next two songs flopped. It was also the only song
he wrote on the album, which prompted him to leave the group and pursue a solo
career. While his solo career was a major flop, the Mad Katz went on to become
international superstars. And in time, he became a trivia question. So here he
was playing at a dive bar for a hundred bucks while his former band are selling
out stadiums.
When the song ends, he looks out at the crowd and they break
into applause. It is a weak applause, but at least it is some sign that they are
listening. He then says "That was Capture a Dream. My one big hit. Now I am
going to play one of the songs from my first solo album. It is called Calling to
the Masses and it hit number 38 on the charts." He then proceeds to play this
and other songs from his short career. He plays songs from both solo albums as
well as some new songs that he hoped would appear on an album. While it has been
over a decade since his last album was released, he still feels he has the
talent. How could someone write a number one hit like Capture a Dream and not
have talent. That is how he justifies it to himself. While he is not doing well,
the royalties from that song alone is enough to keep him off the street. As the
night wears on, the small crowd slowly thins. By the time he plays his last
song, there is only a few people left. As he finishes the song, he says one
final thank you and walks off the stage and sits down at a nearby table. He puts
his guitar into a case that is propped against the wall and closes it. He then
walks over to the bar and the bartender hands him an envelope. He looks inside
and counts the money. He then pulls one of the twenties out and hands it to the
bartender and orders a double shot of scotch. Zero decides to walk over and sit
down next to him. At first he does not pay any attention. He grabs his double
shot and downs it in one gulp. He then sets the shot glass down and orders
another one. As he waits for his drink, Zero says "Hello, Johnny. Been a long
time." The bartender puts the drink in front of him and he grabs it and pulls it
close to him. He also grabs his change and slides a dollar towards the
bartender. Before he drinks it, he looks over at Zero and smiles. He does not
recognize him and figures he is just another fan. While the fans are fewer these
days, he does occasionally meet up with one. Most of the time it is Mad Katz
fans who want his autograph as well. He then downs the second shot. Once he
swallows the alcohol, he hears the man say "It's me Charles Lewis. We went to
college together." He then reaches into this pocket and pulls out his glasses.
He props them on his nose and looks again. "Charles Lewis, where do I know that
name from?" he asks as he studies Zero's face. "We were both training to be
officers. That was before you dropped out to become a rock star." Johnny laughs
as he suddenly remembers him "I remember you. You wanted to hijack a jeep and go
pick up some girls. You thought a jeep would impress them." Zero laughs as he
forgotten that story. "And I would have done it if you didn't talk me out of
it." The two of them laugh and share stories. The hours seem to melt away as
they continue to reminisce.
The cab pulls in front of a night club that has a sign that
says "Kitty's Lounge." The nightclub looks pretty fancy and there are quite a
few people going in and out. DDOJ hand the cabbie the fare money and gets out.
The cabbie yells "Good luck, you'll need it." as he drives off in a hurry. As
DDOJ gets out, the people outside the bar look at him odd. DDOJ does not realize
it but they are all black and he is white. He was never taught to hate anyone
and the color of ones skin never mattered to him. At the orphanage, he had
friends of all nationalities and it never mattered. He just smiles as he enters
the nightclub. As he steps into the place, everyone turns around. Even the DJ
stops playing as they hear the record scratch. DDOJ smiles at everyone who is
staring at him. A few men walk up to him and one of them asks in an angry voice
"Whatcha doing here?" DDOJ smiles and says "I am a party person and I came to
party." Another of the men says to one of the other men "Why don't we take him
out back and play pin the tail on the honkey?"
As the bar closes up, Zero and Johnny leave and head to a
local hot dog shop to get a quick bite and to keep talking. As they enjoy a few
hot dogs with the works, Zero asks "So what are you doing besides playing the
bar circuit?" Johnny looks down as if ashamed and says "That's about it. I get
by on the royalties, but I can't get anyone in the record industry to even
return a call." Zero takes a bite out of his hot dog as the tries not to make a
mess. But they are so loaded with toppings that it is next to impossible. He is
starting to question his decision to get the deluxe dogs. "Have you tried a
different field? Maybe a music teacher or something?" Johnny looks up at him and
says "I tried that but I don't have the patience for teaching." Zero then looks
him in the eye and asks "So what happen with you and Mad Katz?" Johnny puts his
head down again and says in a sarcastic voice "Didn't you read it in the
papers?" Zero puts down his hot dog and gets a stern look on his face "I heard
their version, but I want to know the real story." Johnny takes a deep breath
and then looks up. He looks Zero right in the eye and says "Here it is. You know
the group was made up of two brothers and their best friend. I joined them as a
stranger. They were looking for a good guitarist to bring the group together and
I could play a mean guitar. So they had me join but they did not want me to do
anything but play guitar. I had to fight them to get them to put my one song on
the album. When it became the only hit on the album, it went to my head. I
wanted to write more songs on the next album, but they didn't want me to. So we
got into a big fight and I decided to leave. I was young and stupid and figured
since I wrote one number one hit, I could easily write another." Zero keeps
questioning him "So what happened then?" He grabs his drink and takes a long
sip. He then puts it down and begins talking again "I got a record contract
immediately. It was for two albums. I was on top of the world. But I was also
too stupid to listen to the people around me. The studio offered to get me a
singer, but I demanded to do the singing. They offered to have some of the best
songwriting teams help me with the music and some of the lyrics, but once again
I was too stubborn for my own good. The first album did yield one top forty hit,
but that was it. The second album was a bomb. That was the end of my career.
While Mad Katz went on to have a string of platinum albums." Zero did interject
"Yeah, but their only number one hit was written by you." He smiles at that and
says "And I think of it every time I get a royalty check."
Back at Kitty's Lounge, DDOJ is on the dance floor dancing
with two attractive women. Everyone is dancing around them and people keep
coming up and high fiving DDOJ. He is smiling and have a great time. One of the
women motions for him to follow her. They head over to a table and sit down. His
head is quite sweaty as he is exhausted from all the dancing. A waitress comes
over and she says "Give me a beer and a ginger ale." The waitress smiles at DDOJ
and walks off. "Where did you learn to dance like that?" she says to him. He
blushes a little and says "I just go with the music." She starts laughing. He
starts laughing too, even if he doesn't know what they are laughing about. She
then whispers in his ear "Wanna go find somewhere a little more quiet?" DDOJ
smiles and says "You mean like a library?" She breaks out laughing. DDOJ is
unsure if it is good or bad so he just laughs along as well. "Your gonna make
Ginger bust a gut, you know that dontcha?" DDOJ gets a sad look on his face as
he says "I'm sorry, I don't want you to bust anything." She breaks out laughing
again as she says "Please stop, your killing me." She laughs so hard, she falls
out of her chair. DDOJ hurries over to help her up. She then gives him a big hug
and says "Let's get out of here."
Zero and Johnny are walking down the street. It is dark out
and almost everything is closed up for the night. Zero looks up at the
streetlights and sees the moths flying around them. As he looks at them, he
wonders what it is like to be free and just go where you want to. How great it
must be to be so enchanted by a simple street light. As he watches them and
wonders, a bat swoops in and eats one of the moths. Suddenly he does not want to
be a moth anymore. Johnny looks at Zero who is looking up and asks "What you
thinking about?" Zero smiles and says "How I have no desire to be a moth."
Johnny gives him a strange look and figures it is better to not ask. As they
keep walking, Johnny says "When did the world become so cynical?" Zero gives him
an odd look and asks "What do you mean?" Johnny puts his hands in the pockets of
his coat to keep them warm. He looks down at the cracks in the sidewalk and
answers "You know how everyone is so critical of everything. No matter how good
a movie or an album is, there are people who just want to tear it down. I don't
remember things being like that when I was growing up." Zero looks down at the
sidewalk too. As he also looks at the amount of work that needs to be done to
this sidewalk, he answers "Not everyone is like that." Johnny then looks up and
says "Show me one person who is not critical, just one." Zero smiles and says "I
know just the person. He happens to be traveling with me." Johnny laughs and
says "And you are also traveling with Bigfoot too." Zero laughs and says "You
will see, just trust me."
DDOJ and Ginger are sitting on a rock by the shore of Lake
Erie. She is skipping stones into the water. She has one of her arms around DDOJ
and is holding him tight. He has one arm around her as well. There is a little
space between them due to the size of his head but they are as close as they
comfortably can be. "You are the first guy that hasn't made a move on me." she
says as she looks at him. He looks back and says "I'm sorry, but I don't know
what kind of move I am supposed to make." She then playfully taps him on the
chest and says "Get out of here." So he gets up and starts walking away. "Where
you going?" she yells to him. He turns around with a sad face and a tear coming
from his puppy dog eyes. "You said to get out of here." She gets up and puts her
hands over his in a comforting gesture. "You really do take everything
personally." He looks at her and tries to smile. She gives him a big hug.
Suddenly his face lights up like a Christmas tree. He has a smile that goes from
ear to ear and a dreamy look in his eyes. She then looks him right in the eyes
and then turns to kiss him. She gives him a big kiss on the lips. He looks at
her and sees that she has her eyes closed, so he does the same. Then she tries
to put her tongue in his mouth and he recoils in shock. "What's matter?" she
asks as she is unsure of why he pulled back. "You tried to put your tongue in my
mouth." he said as he wiped his face. "And what is wrong with that? Haven't you
ever French kissed before?" He has a weird look on his face as he is unsure of
what is happening. Then he says "I never been to France." She lets go and breaks
out laughing "You are silliest person I ever met." Once again he is unsure of
what is funny but laughs along. Once the laughter stops, she moves close to him
again and looks him deep in the eyes and says "French kissing is something that
people who like each other do." He looks back at her and says "Why?" She smiles
at him and puts her hands on his cheeks and says "It is just a way to show
someone you really like them." DDOJ is puzzled. He cannot figure out how someone
putting their tongue in his mouth can be anything but gross. But he does like
Ginger and he says "Well, I do really like you." She smiles and says "I really
like you too. Now lets try this again. Just do what I do." She then turns her
head and kisses him again. He closes his eyes, just like her. Then her tongue
enters his mouth and his eyes open wide with a look of shock. But after a few
seconds, a small smile creeps over his mouth and he closes his eyes and enjoys
the kiss.
The light turns red and Zero and Johnny slowly cross the
street. About halfway across, the light changes and a car screeches to a halt as
it almost hits them. Zero, who is closest to the car, slams his fist on the hood
and screams "We're walking here." The car beeps its horn and the person is
screaming something in their car as they point. Zero is ready to go over and
drag them out of the car, when Johnny tugs on his arm. He turns to see who is
doing it and Johnny says "Let it go." He stops for a second and contemplates it.
"Count to ten and walk away." he says in a cool voice to calm Zero down. He
counts to five and walks away. The man screams something as he drives away and
Zero turns to run after the car. Once again, Johnny grabs his arm to hold him
back. "Count to ten." is all he says, again in a calm voice. Zero puts his head
down and counts to ten. He then takes a deep breath and says "I could have taken
him, easily." Johnny looks at him and says "And then what? Do you want to spend
the night in jail?" Zero looks at him and says "Since when did you become a
pacifist? You were a hell raiser in college." Johnny looks at him and says "And
I learned that fighting doesn't solve anything." Zero looks at him and says "But
it does feel good to let someone have what's coming to them." They start walking
again as Johnny says "Fighting only leads to two things. If you lose, you get
beat up. If you win, you get sued. Either way you lose." Zero starts laughing
and says "You should make that the lyrics to a song." He looks back and says
"Not sure if peace sells now, but it could be a good song. John Lennon would
have approved."
Back at the shore, DDOJ and Ginger are still kissing. The
stop and she looks at him and says "So did you like that?" He smiles at her and
says "That was really nice." She gives him a peck on the cheek and says "Want to
take it a bit further?" DDOJ looks at her and says "Take what?" She then gets a
serious look on her face and asks "Have you ever been with a women?" He looks at
her and says "I am with you now." She then says "No, have you ever had sex with
a woman?" He looks at her with a confused look on his face. "That's what I
thought. Your a virgin." He gets an even more perplexed look on his face as he
asks "Is that a bad thing?" She smiles and says "No, its not. In fact in this
day and age it is a wonderful thing." He smiles and says "I'm a virgin! What's a
virgin?" She laughs as she says "It just means that you are pure." DDOJ smiles
and says "I'm a pure virgin!" She laughs and says "Yes, you are." He then asks
"What is sex?" She breaks out laughing. "Why you asking me, you should be asking
your mother." Suddenly a tear rolls down his face. He lets go of her and goes
over and sits down and puts his head down. She rushes over and sits down and
says "What's wrong baby?" He looks up with tears welling in his eyes and says "I
never met my mother." She pulls him close and asks "What do you mean you never
met your mother?" He tries to hold back the tears as he looks at her and says
"She abandoned me as a baby. I was raised in an orphanage." She starts crying as
well as she asks "So you never had a real family?" He shakes his head back and
forth to signify no. She starts hugging him real tight and says "Every child
should know their mama." They have a good cry as they hold each other.
The door unlocks and Zero slowly opens it. He opens it and
sees the lights are still on. He expected all the lights to be turned off and
DDOJ to be in bed. It was nearly four in the morning. "DDOJ are you still
watching television?" he says as he hears the television in the other room. As
he goes into the room, he sees the beds are still made and there is no sign of
him anywhere. He goes over to the bathroom door and knocks on it. "DDOJ, are you
in there?" There is no sound from the other side. He turns the knob and the door
opens. He turns on the light and the room is empty. Zero begins to panic. Where
could he be? DDOJ is so naive that he could be anywhere with anyone. He rushes
downstairs and goes to the front desk. "Did you see a man with a giant shaped
head leave here this evening?" He uses his hands to show how large the head is.
The man looks at him and says "Sorry sir, but no one fitting that description
came past the desk during my shift." Johnny gets a small smirk on his face and
says "This is some kind of joke isn't it. I mean really, a man with a head like
that." Zero gets a pissed look on his face as he says "It's no joke. DDOJ is
real and he could be in trouble." Johnny laughs "DDOJ? What kind of name is
that?" Zero starts yelling "He is real, now cut it out." Right then a car pulls
up in front of the hotel. It is a nice looking sports car. The door opens and
DDOJ climbs out. Ginger comes out of the driver's side and comes over and gives
DDOJ a big kiss on the lips. "Thanks for a wonderful evening." she says as she
hugs him. "Thank you too." he says back as he hugs her very tight. Zero is
amazed to see this very attractive black lady in a sports car kissing DDOJ. She
then runs back into the car but before she does, she blows him a kiss. He waves
back as she drives off. Zero runs up to him and says "Where have you been? I was
worried sick." He looks at him and says "I went to Kitty's Lounge and met Ginger
and found out I am a pure virgin." Zero just laughs as he does not know what to
think. Johnny looks at his enormous head and says "You weren't kidding, he is
real. I'm sorry I doubted you." They all then go back into the hotel.
Zero and DDOJ
© 2006 Tom Zjaba and Dave
Zjaba
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