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Zero and DDOJ
Issue #7
by Tom Zjaba
Chapter Nine
Shakedown Street
Late into the night, Zero drove the vette. Knowing
the car is stolen, he wanted to get out of Michigan and into Illinois as fast as
possible. The sun was just rising and he saw the state border up ahead. While
crossing the border did not guarantee any safety, it give him a better chance of
not being arrested. He really wants to keep a low profile, not that the
excessive speeds he has been traveling has helped. Lady luck must be smiling
down on them as they have not encountered a highway patrolman. He thinks to
himself how lucky he has been not to have the FBI or another agency chasing
after him. This is the fifth car he has stolen. Add in assaulting an officer as
well as the fight at the restaurant and at the motel and you have quite a long
rap sheet. All he needs now is to rob a few banks to really get the outlaw image
going.
As the sun starts to rise over the horizon, he looks over at
DDOJ, who is still sleeping. He wonders if he will be able to get him to
California to find his parents. Their luck has been outstanding so far, but it
has to change sooner or later. He hopes they can at least get him there before
the law clamps down on them. As he passes the sign for entering the state of
Illinois, he wonders if he should be looking for a place to stop. His eyes are
heavy with fatigue and his feet are aching from pounding the pedal all night. HE
also realizes that the car is almost out of gas. He sees a sign for a gas
station and diner up ahead. He follows it to an off ramp and heads down. As he
nears the bottom, he sees the gas station and diner. Lucky Lucy's is the name
and the place is all but empty except for a few trucks and one beat up van a big
peace symbol painted on the side. As Zero pulls up, he pulls up next to the van.
As he gets out to pump some gas, he sees some guys in tie die shirts coming out
of the gas station. They have a bunch of chips, candy and other assorted snack
foods. They are smiling from ear to ear as they walk past. Zero sees them get in
the van and he says "Where you guys headed, Woodstock?" The guys laugh and from
their laughter, Zero can tell they are high. "No man, Woodstock is like way, way
over. We are headed to Shakedown Street." The other guy laughs when he hears it.
Not hip on their lingo, Zero asks "Shakedown Street? What's happening there?"
The guy who is not laughing and is wearing his John Lennon glasses halfway down
his nose answers, "We are headed to the Dead concert. We are working in
Shakedown Street." Zero gives him an odd look. "I don't follow you?" The other
guy breaks out laughing as the main guy tries to control his laughter. "Dude, we
are going to see the Grateful Dead. We follow them across the country. And we
sell stuff before the concert to earn money. A bunch of people do the same
thing. We call the place where we sell stuff, Shakedown Street. It's the name of
a Dead song." As they are talking, DDOJ wakes up and climbs out of the car. He
sees the guys with the tie die shirts and says "Nice shirts, where can I get
one?" The guys both laugh and say in unison "At Shakedown Street." They both
break out laughing as they put the stuff into the van. Zero then yells out
"Where is this concert at?" The man turns around and says "If you want, you can
follow us. But the concert isn't until tonight, so you will be waiting around
for awhile." Zero then walks over and says "Do you mind if we hitch a ride?" The
guy looks at him and says "But what about your vette?" Zero laughs and says "I
was sick of it anyway. I think I will just leave it here. Time to give up the
material possessions." He then puts the keys in the ignition and grabs his stuff
and leaves the door unlocked. The guy smiles as he opens the back door. "You are
like a real hippie dude. That is so cool." Zero smiles at him and motions for
DDOJ to come along.
Mike and his friends are holed up in a jail cell. They are
pacing back and forth as Mike yells "I want another phone call." He stands there
shaking the bars and yelling "Hey officer, I want another phone call." After a
few minutes, one of the officers comes into the room and looks at him. "What do
you want now?" Mike looks at him and says "I want my phone call." The man looked
at him and says "You had your phone call. Everyone of you had a call." Mike
starts getting pissed as he says "I know but I got an answering machine. We are
guaranteed a call to a live person. I know my rights." The officer laughs as he
says "The law is you are allowed one call. It is not my fault if the person you
called was not home." This really sends Mike over the edge. "Do you have any
idea who my father is? I will have your job." The officer laughs as he hears
stuff like this all the time. "By the way, you have some visitors." All the guys
jump up and crowd around the bars. "Is it my dad?" one of the guys says. "Bet
it's my lawyer." another one of the guys says. When the officer opens the door,
the two FBI agents walk in. The officer points to Mike's cell and he says "Those
are the men you want to talk to." As they walk up to the cell, the men who are
both wearing sun glasses both pull out their badges and flash their FBI badges.
"We would like to ask you a few questions." Mike gets all defensive and says
"Whatever you are trying to pin on us, we didn't do it." The men show no emotion
as they just look at them. "We want to ask you a few questions about men you may
have come in contact with." Bob then jumps in "Why should we help you? What's in
it for us?" The men look at them and say "Know the phone calls you were asking
about? We will make sure you get your calls." Mike takes back over the
conversation as he says "Get us out of here and we will talk." The men look keep
their emotionless expressions as they say "We cannot do that. But we can
guarantee that you get in contact with your family, so they can post bail."
Realizing that he has no bargaining chips, Mike gives in. "All right, what do
you want to know?" The men pull out two pictures and show them to the guys.
"Have you seen either of these men?" Bob looks at them and says "Those are the
guys who took off with our chicks and stole your vette." Mike growls as he looks
at them and says "Yeah, we saw those bastards. What about em?" Do you know if
they are in possession of your vehicle now?" Mike is really steamed now as he
thinks about those guys driving his car. "Probably. Why are they wanted or
something?" The FBI agent puts the pictures away and says "Any idea where they
were headed?" Bob jumps back in "We have no idea. They just sat in front of us
at the Kiss concert. Then when we went to get a beer, they left with our girls."
The agent then asks "Do you know where your girls are now?" Mike walks around in
a circle as he thinks about what happened to them. "Last time I saw them, they
were at the bar. But when the police arrived, I lost track of them. They
probably went back home." One of the FBI agents takes out a notepad and starts
writing stuff down. "Do you know how we can contact these girls?" Mike puts his
hand out and says "First, get us the phone so we can make some calls and I will
give you their names and numbers." The two agents look at each other and then
one of them leaves. The other one just keeps looking at them as he waits for his
partner to return. When he comes back, the policeman unlocks the cell and lets
Mike out. "Come on with me." Mike pumps his fist as he leaves the cell. He looks
back at his friends and says "I will make sure we all get out of here." As they
leave, the agents follow them.
Riding down the road in the van, Zero and DDOJ are bouncing
around in the back. While they are sitting on an old couch, they are still
moving around as the couch is not bolted down. When the van turns right, the
couch moves with it. When it turns left, it moves the other way. While it is
comfortable, it reeks of smoke and has numerous cigarette burns in it. Zero
lifts the mattress to see a variety of moldy snack food items stuck under the
cushions. These guys are anything but neat. Across from them are a few stacks of
boxes that are at least tied together and held to the van wall by rope. The
boxes are plain cardboard boxes with words written on them. One says "Large"
another says "Medium" and another says "Small." Zero is guessing they are
t-shirts or some other clothes that these guys are selling. Under their feet is
a table that keeps moving back a forth. It is folded up and they have their feet
resting on it, but like the couch, it also moves when the van moves. In the
front seats are the two guys, who are playing their cassette player real loud.
At this moment, they are playing the Grateful Dead song, Truckin. Both of them
are singing along and they are way off key. Neither one can carry a tune, not
that the marijuana cigarette they are passing back and forth helps. It is hard
to sing when you are constantly coughing. While Zero is not one to tell a person
how to live, he is a little annoyed by the smoke. But he knows that it is safer
to be driving with these guys than in the stolen corvette. As usual, DDOJ is
finding the bright side of the situation and actually enjoying the ride as the
couch moves around. He thinks it is really cool that there is a couch in a
vehicle and likes sitting on it.
A few hours later, they pull into what appears to be a
fairgrounds. All around are cars and vans that are parked with their trunks
facing out. People are setting up tables and putting goods out. There are men
and women and even some children, walking around and talking. Some are looking
at the goods at the tables that are set up and others are even buying. Most of
the people look to be in their late teen to early twenties. There are a
sprinkling of older folks, but most of them are young. Almost all of them are
wearing tie die shirts. Some shirts are just wild designs and others have skulls
or teddy bears on them. Even a few have marijuana leaves displayed on their tie
die shirts. The day is hot and most of the people are in cut off jean shorts. A
handful are wearing full length jeans, but most people are dressed for the
weather. As the van pulls into a spot, they slowly back up so that the rear
doors are facing the makeshift street. As they stop, the guys up front get out
and open the back. DDOJ bounces out first as he is happy to get out in the
sunlight. Zero slowly climbs out as he is not so happy. He was hoping to get a
little sleep on the ride, but the moving couch prevented him from sleeping. As
he looks around, it reminds him of his stopover in San Francisco back in the
60's. He was on leave from Nam and decided to see what all the fuss was. Every
major magazine talked about Haight and Ashbury and all that was happening. He
had to check it out himself and while it was not his cup of tea, he was glad for
the experience. It opened his eyes to many things.
As the two guys unload the van, they first set up the table.
Then they pull out the boxes. DDOJ offers to help but they choose to do it
themselves. As they open the boxes, they pull out all kinds of tie die shirts.
They start placing them on the tables in order of size. Some of the guys head
over and one of them says "Look, it's Shake and Bake. What's happening?" The guy
with the glasses smiles and says "We are back on the circuit with some new
threads. Interested in trading?" The man picks up a few and looks them over. He
turns them over to see how some have the Grateful Dead logo and others are
blank. He looks at the tags to read what brand shirt it is. "Out of all the
shirts I see, yours are among the best, Shake." The guy smiles and says "We aim
to please. A happy customer is a repeat customer." The man smiles back and says
"Let me get my trading stash and we will see what we can do." Shake smiles back
and says "You know where to find us." While this is going on, the other guy
pulls out a portable grill and sets it up. He pours in some charcoal and then
pours some lighter fluid over it. He tosses a match, which sends a flame up in
the air. DDOJ sees that and smiles. Once the flames settle down, he puts a grill
over it and pulls out a cooler. Zero goes over to Shake and says "So how did you
get the names Shake and Bake?" He looks at him as he puts out more shirts and
says "I'm a drama major at college and so it is short for Shakespeare. And Bake
over there is studying to be a chef." When Bake hears that, he waves his giant
metal spatula at them. Zero looks at him and says "If you are college students,
then what are you doing here?" Shake laughs as he answers "We go to college
during the rest of the year, but once summer hits, we are off to follow the
dead. It is our way of blowing off steam and getting enough money for the next
year of college." Zero is puzzled at this. He can understand this following the
dead, there were people doing it back in his day. But making money off it is a
new thing to him. "How much money can you make selling t-shirts?" He laughs at
that question. Everyone thinks that the people following the dead are a bunch of
brain-dead druggies. While there are those people here, there is also a whole
vibrant community of people who make a decent living following the dead. "The
money isn't in selling, it's in trading. And bartering is a way of life on
Shakedown Street." Zero is still not getting it, but he pretends like he is. But
Shake can tell that it is not clear to him so he says "You have to remember
there are a few items that are necessities to deadheads. One is concert tickets.
Two is mind altering substances. And three is food. Allot of people get the
munchies and they can only stomach so much of the crap that's sold inside." The
light is going on in Zero's head. "So you trade these shirts for tickets and
drugs and then sell those?" Shake smiles and says "Bingo! It is simple supply
side economics. On Shakedown Street, especially early, there is a surplus of
drugs and tickets. But most of them don't have shirts or jewelry or other stuff.
And come afternoon, they are all jonesing for some serious grub and that is
where Bake comes in. Once he gets that grill going, they come running." While it
has been a long time since he went to college, Zero remembers basic economic
theories. And it does make sense. He can see how a few guys with some smarts can
make a living off the rest of these guys. He then smiles at them and says "You
really have it all figured out." Shake smiles and says "Looks can be deceiving."
Two teenage boys are outside the gas station looking at the
corvette. "It has been sitting there for over an hour. I think someone just left
it." The other boy looks at him and says "No one just leaves a cherry car like
this." He then takes a sip of his fountain drink. The other one then takes a
drink of his drink and answers back "Then explain why the keys are in the
ignition and the doors are unlocked." They both look at it and then the second
boy says "When you drive a car like this, you can pick up chicks." They both
look at the car and then he adds "Not just chicks, but big breasted chicks like
in the magazines." The other boy takes a quick drink and says "Yeah, but we can
get in allot of trouble for pinching a car." The other boy then opens the door
and climbs in. "Well, I am going to get me some big breasted girls. Are you
coming or are you going home to read your dad's playboys again?" He then jumps
in and says "Time to stop reading and to start living!" They then peel out of
the gas station and take off down the road. As they start driving, the driver
looks down and says "We won't get too far if we don't get some gas." The other
one then adds "Then turn around, we were just at a gas station." He then smacks
the passenger in the head and says "Are you stupid? We just pinched the car from
there. We will go down the street and get some gas. Idiot."
As everyone is getting stuff ready, a police car pulls up.
Suddenly there is an air of panic as everyone tries to hide their illegal
substances. Shake keeps putting the shirts out and Bake throws a few burgers on
the grill. The car stops and two police officers come out. While they are coming
over, DDOJ goes back in the van, to get his bag. The officers slowly walk down
the aisle and look at all the stands. They smell the grill going and stop over
at Shake's stand. "We put a few burgers on for you." he says as he points to the
grill. The officer looks at the grill and then says "You make sure to keep that
fire under control. We don't want any accidents." He smiles and says "Yes, sir."
He then looks at the shirts and says "We are actually here on official business.
We have an APB on a stolen red corvette. Have you seen one?" Shake thinks for a
few minutes and then says "Did it have vanity plates?" The officer's eyes light
up. "Yeah, it says Dude." Shake thinks about it and then says "I did see one
that fit that description. It was parked at a gas station. The one right off the
exit on the first off ramp in Illinois." The officer looks at him and asks "You
mean the one coming in from Michigan?" Shake goes into the van real quick and
pulls out a map. He comes back and opens it up and says "Right here. That's the
road." The officer looks up from the map and says "You're serious about this?
You're not just trying to get rid of us?" Shake holds up his right hand and says
"Scout's honor." The officer laughs and then he turns to his partner and says
"Let's go." They then turn around and head back to the car. After a few minutes
in the car, they turn around and drive off. As they leave, everyone starts to
clap and cheer. Shake takes a bow and then turns to Zero and says "And that is
why they call it Shakedown Street." He laughs as he wipes the sweat off his
brow. That was a little too close. He now feels real good about ditching the
vette. Last thing he wants is anyone problems with the police. Shake then looks
at him and says "You stole that car, no wonder you were leaving it." Zero smiles
and says "It's a long story. Shake laughs and says "So now we are harboring
fugitives. Never figured you for fugitives." Zero looks at him and says "Let's
just say we are the victims of circumstance. What a long, strange trip it's
been."
The two boys are driving down the road when they stop by a
playground. One of the boys yells out "Hey Lynzie, check out my ride." A cute
girl with long blonde hair and a halter top runs over and says "Sweet ride,
who's ride is it?" The boy says "It's mine." She laughs and says "Get lost. No
way it's your car." He gets pissed and says "Is so. Wanna go for a ride? Maybe
bring Wendy with you?" She looks over at the other boy and says "Billy, you
always did have a thing for Wendy." He blushes and smiles. "Hey Wendy, wanna go
for a ride?" Wendy, a brunette with equally long hair and a matching halter top
comes over and says "Sweet ride Johnny. Where did you get it?" He glares at her
and says "It's mine." She laughs as she plays with her gum and says "Yeah right,
you probably stole it." He then looks back at Lynzie and says "So you girls
wanna go for a ride or what?" Lynzie looks it over and says "So where were you
planning on going?" Johnny replies "We thought we would take it out on the
highway and see how fast she can go. Then maybe we can go get some burgers."
Lynzie smiles and says "Can I drive it?" Johnny gets a pissed look on his face
and says "Are you crazy?" She then takes her hand and rubs it down his arm and
says "I can make it worth your while." She then winks at him. A bolt of
electricity runs through his body as she touches him. He's had a crush on her
for years and this is a dream come true. He smiles at her and says "Once we get
on the highway, I will let you drive it some." She laughs and then runs around
and opens the passenger door and says "In the back seat with you Billy." He
looks at her with a puzzled look and says "Why do I have to sit in the back?"
She then points at Wendy and says "Because that's where Wendy is going to sit."
He then smiles and says "Oh, that's different." He then gets back there and
smiles as Wendy gets in the back and says "Hi Billy!" With everyone loaded,
Johnny puts it in drive and speeds off. He zooms down the street and through an
intersection. As he goes past, a police car sees him go by and looks at the car.
The officer picks up his walkie and says "What was the description on the stolen
vette?" A few seconds later, a voice comes through and says "Red corvette
stingray. License plate reads Dude." The officer then responds "Saw a vehicle
fitting that description. It was heading northbound on Cedar, towards the
freeway." After a few seconds, a voice comes through "We will be sending backup.
Do not try to apprehend yourself. Suspects are possibly armed and dangerous."
Johnny heads out on the highway and quickly moves over into
the fast lane. As he pushes the pedal down, Lynzie moves right closer to him and
puts his arm over her shoulder. He smiles at her and she smiles back. Even with
her braces, she has a pretty smile. He then slowly moves his hand down until it
is resting on her breast. He looks over and she smiles at him. He then slowly
rubs it. He looks in the back and sees Billy and Wendy making out. He thinks in
his mind "This is going to be the greatest day of my life." He then decides to
really push it. He pushes the pedal down until he reaches a 100 mph. She puts
her hand on his thigh and starts to rub. He decides to be bold and pushes his
hand inside her halter top. He expects resistance, but she does not stop him.
Her hand slowly moves up. A big smile comes over his face as she says "Go
faster." He pushes the pedal down and the speedometer moves towards 120 mph. He
finds the halter top hard to move around in and he fumbles horribly. He then
looks up and sees flashing lights in the rear view mirror. "Damn!" he says as he
starts to push down the brake and slow the car down. But before he can slow down
too much, he sees that there are more than one car. In fact, there are three
police cars heading towards him. Lynzie turns around and sees the police cars
and quickly pulls up her halter top. She then moves over and quickly puts on her
seat belt. He moves the car over to the other side of the road and pulls off the
road and stops. Two of the police cars pull behind him and one in front of him.
As he waits for them to come over and yell at him for speeding, he sees the
officers get out with their guns drawn. He then hears a voice say "Come out
slowly and put your hands on your head." The four kids look at each other with
scared looks on their faces. This seems like allot for speeding. As they slowly
get out of the car, they move to the front of the car and put her hands on their
heads. The officers come over and grab them and push them to the ground. They
then pull out their cuffs and handcuff them and throw them in the back of the
squad car. As they are put in the back of the car, Lynzie turns to Johnny and
says "Exactly where did you get this car?" He looks down as she says "We sorta
pinched it." She then glares at him and says "You idiot! You stole a car to try
and impress me. My dad's gonna kill me."
Zero and DDOJ ©
2007 Tom Zjaba and Dave Zjaba
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