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Zero and DDOJ
Issue #9
by Tom Zjaba
Chapter Eleven
Born to be Wild
Once the opening band stops playing, Lucy and Zero are able
to pull DDOJ away from the dancing. "We need to get him out as quickly as
possible." she says. "Once the dead come on, this place will erupt and we will
never get him out." Zero nods in agreement as he grabs DDOJ's right arm and with
Lucy on the left, lead him through the crowd. They push their way through the
sea of tie die shirts. DDOJ just smiles as he looks at the sea of faces. The
keep changing as he walks past. It is almost like they are decks of cards and he
is flipping through them. There is a silly look on his face as he smiles at all
the people. His head is a magnet for all the chemically influenced people as
they cannot stop looking at it. Many of them are not sure if his head really
looks like that or if it is the drugs or alcohol.
While they are pushing through the crowds, DDOJ looks up and
sees a plane flying overhead. The jet slowly transforms from a jet to a
beautiful white dragon. The wings of the plane become the feathery wings of the
dragon. The tail quickly turns into a long tail that moves back and forth. He is
amazed at seeing a large dragon flying through the sky. As he looks up at it,
the dragon turns its head and looks right at him. A smiles comes over its face.
He smiles back as the dragon quickly flies into some clouds and out of sight.
With the dragon gone, his attention returns to the people in the crowd and their
brightly colored tie dye shirts that seem to swirl in different directions.
In the parking lot, she looks at Zero and asks "So where is
your car?" Zero then thinks about how he does not have a car anymore. "Well, we
don't have a car." This stops Lucy in her tracks. "Then how did you get here?"
she asks as she is shocked that anyone would be out here at a concert with no
wheels. "We bummed a ride with some guys who were selling on Shakedown Street."
he replies. "And before that? What did you do, hitchhike?" she asks in a harsh
voice. "It's a long story, but we lost our car." he says as is put off by her
attitude. He is not used to a forceful woman. And as much as he hates to admit
it, her attitude is a bit of turn on for him. "Well, you can tell me all about
it later. Right now, we have to get him away from here." she says as she starts
looking around. Zero then asks her "How about your car? Why can't we take it?"
He figures he will turn the table on her. But she quickly comes back with a
reply in a very snippy voice" Because my car is a motorcycle and I don't think
we can fit all three of us on a motorcycle." She then gives him a dirty look as
if she is saying "so there." This makes Zero fall for her even more.
Johnny and Billy are sitting in a room at the police station.
They both are sitting in front of a long table. Worried looks are on both of
their faces. Billy then looks at Johnny and asks "Think we are going to prison?"
Johnny keeps looking at the desk. He is trying to not make eye contact as he is
ready to cry and doesn't want his friend to see him cry. "I don't know. I sure
hope not." He then wipes his eyes real quick, hoping Billy doesn't see him and
then looks up. "Wonder if Lynzie will ever talk to me again?" Billy looks over
and says "I don't know, she was really pissed." Johnny then says "I hope so
because she let me feel her up." Billy then looks right at him and asks "How was
it?" Johnny cracks a little smile as he says "They were so soft, like nothing I
ever felt before." Billy then says "Yeah, Wendy's felt real good too." Johnny
then says "It was nice, but now we are headed to prison." Billy then pats him on
the shoulder and says "Maybe the girls will come for a conjugal visit." Johnny
looks over and smiles and says "That would make it so worth it."
The two FBI agents come in the room. They look at the boys
with their emotionless expressions. "So tell us how you came in possession of
the corvette." one of the agents asks. Johnny doesn't like the looks of these
guys. The police were scary enough, but these guys with their black suits and
stern looks is enough to make Johnny walk the straight and narrow from here on.
"We borrowed it." he says as he looks down at the floor. He does not want to
make eye contact with these guys. "Who did you borrow it from?" he asks as he
sits in the chair across from Johnny and stares right at him. Johnny looks up
briefly and sees the agent staring right at him. He then quickly looks back down
as he answers. "We didn't really borrow. We sorta pinched it. But we were gonna
give it back." Billy then jumps in "It was all his idea. I didn't want to do
it." Johnny then looks up at Billy and gives him a dirty look. The agent then
looks at Billy and asks "So you stole the car? Do you know who you stole it
from?" Billy gulps as he hears the word stole. He knows the severity of car
theft. Maybe he can push the blame on Johnny and get off with probation or
something. "We don't know who owned it. The car was sitting there at the gas
station for a few hours with the keys in the ignition." The agent then pulls out
the sketch of Zero and DDOJ and asks "Did you see these two men at the gas
station?" Billy looks over the pictures and then hands them to Johnny. They both
shake their heads no as they hand the photos back. The agent then stands back up
and he turns to his partner and says "Dead end." He agrees and the two of them
walk out of the room. Once they leave, Billy turns to Johnny and says "I don't
know who those guys in the picture were, but I bet they are in more trouble then
we are." Johnny nods his head in agreement. Just then, Johnny and Billy's
fathers open the door and come into the room. A scared look come over their
faces as Johnny's dad says "You're gonna wish you were never born by the time
I'm done with you." Billy's dad then adds "And you're gonna be grounded until
you're thirty."
Zero is sitting in the grass right outside the parking lot
and watching DDOJ spin in circles. "Look, I keep spinning and I'm not getting
dizzy." DDOJ says as he spins like a human top. Zero is resting his head on his
knees as he watches DDOJ act silly. "Whoopee." Zero says as he rolls his eyes.
He wonders how long this acid trip is going to last as he is ready to strangle
DDOJ right now. Before he can grumble anymore, Lucy returns with an old looking
motorcycle with a side car. "That's the best I could scrape up. Only cost five
hundred bucks." she says as she gives Zero three hundred back. "I told you that
I would give you change." she says with a smile. Zero looks at the beat up old
bike and says "What a deal." She then steps in and says "Next time, maybe you
should take better care of your car." He notices that when she gets angry, she
looks prettier. There is a sparkle in her eyes that is not there otherwise. He
wants to grab her and kiss her, but he knows she would probably kick him in the
groin. She doesn't look like the slapping kind. In the background, the sounds of
the Grateful Dead singing "Uncle John's Band" can be heard. She curses and says
"Damn, that's my favorite Dead song." She is soon over her disappointment and
grabs her Harley and starts it up. Zero then grabs DDOJ and leads him over to
the bike and says "Here is your seat." DDOJ smiles as he climbs in. "It's like a
rocket ship I used to ride outside the grocery store." Zero rolls his eyes and
says "Just get in there Buck Rogers, we gotta go." He then climbs on the bike
and starts it up. The bike makes a loud, obnoxious sound and shoots out a big
cloud of black smoke. He looks over at her and asks "Are you sure this bike
runs?" She moves her bike closer to hear him and says "It may look like crap,
but it runs fine. It will get us to Sturgis." Zero then looks at her and asks
"Sturgis? What's a Sturgis?" She gives him a "are you serious" look and says
"You never heard of Sturgis?" He nods his head no. She then says "Why its the
biggest party in the west. Bikers from all over the country come there each
year." Zero looks at her and says "OK." She then responds "It's a blast."
He looks at her and says "So we are going to a big bike rally?" She laughs
as she says "Actually, that was a month ago. We are just going to Sturgis
as a friend of mine has a bike shop and we can get you a better bike or fix this
one." Zero gives her an odd look as he is confused. "So we aren't
going to a bike rally?" She laughed and said "It's over. I missed it
this year as I was following the dead. But my friend has one of the best
bike shops in the country. And now that the rally is over, his prices come
down and he has time. Just trust me, it will be fun." She then winks at him and drives off.
Out of the parking lot, the two motorcycles zoom off into the
cool Illinois air. Zero is glad there is a side car as he had not ridden a
motorcycle or any bike for that matter, in a very long time. He is unsure of how
good his balance on two wheels is. And the last thing he wants to do is fall
down and look stupid in front of Lucy. DDOJ, on the other hand, is loving the
feel of the wind on his face. He has his right hand out soaring in the wind,
like a paper airplane. He likes the feel of the wind as it flows over his hand.
A minute after they leave the Grateful Dead concert behind them, a car pulls up
to the parking lot and goes in. Since the concert is well over half over, there
is no one watching the ticket booth, so they are able to just pull in. Inside
the car are the two FBI agents who are looking at the sea of cars. "Think they
are here?" the one says to the other. "Not sure, but I have a hunch they were
here." he replies. "What makes you think that?" the first one asks. He lights a
cigarette and then says "I think they know we are trailing them and what better
place to hide than somewhere with a huge crowd?" The second one then asks "Why
do you think they know we are trailing them?" The first one takes a long drag of
his cigarette and then blows out the smoke. "Why else would they dump the
corvette? They left the doors unlocked and the keys in the ignition. Surely it
was a way to throw us off their trail." The second one then responds "That does
make sense. Obviously we are dealing with career criminals." The first one then
finds a spot to park and pulls out an envelope. "I pulled the file on one of the
men. His name is Charles Lewis and he has a history of mental illness and
violence." The second agent then grabs the file and turns on the overhead light
and starts reading it. "Served in Nam. Dishonorable discharge. Drug abuse.
Driving under the influence. Numerous assault and battery. Attempted suicide.
Spent time in an mental institution." The first agent grabs back the file and
says "And that doesn't include his most recent crime spree." He then hands
another pile of papers to him. "He was on the straight and narrow, when he got
out of the institution, wonder what made him go off-course?" The first one looks
out at the parking lot and watches some obviously drunk people stumble by. "Who
knows what makes people become criminals. I only know it is our job to get them
off the streets for good." he says as he pulls out his gun and makes sure it is
loaded. "Well, let's go see if your hunch is right?" The two agents then get out
of the car and head towards the concert.
Down the road, the two motorcycles zoom. The roads are mostly
deserted with only an occasional semi truck driving by. The first time an 18
wheeler drove past them, it scared the daylights out of Zero. He never thought
about it when he was in a car, but driving on a motorcycle makes him feel very
vulnerable. On a bike, you can really feel the rush of wind generated by a
passing truck. And if it kicks up some rocks, you can really feel those. He is
starting to regret dumping the vette. He knows it was stolen and they are
probably looking for it, but they could have been so much closer to California
with it. And DDOJ would not be tripping on acid. But then they would never have
met Lucy, so it is a wash. But he is getting worried about money as he is
blowing through it very fast. He is down to about a grand left and is not sure
how he is going to get more. He is unsure how much money DDOJ has, if he has any
at all.
Zero struggles to keep his eyes ahead as he follows Lucy.
Fatigue is setting in and he really wants to stop for the night. But how do you
convey this message to the person you are following, when you are both on
motorcycles. He is sure there is some secret biker hand signals, but he does not
know them and it is doubtful she would see them in the darkness. Also, she is
driving pretty fast, which would make it hard to do hand signals. He is nervous
enough being on a bike and traveling fast. He could not imagine taking either
hand off the bike to gesture. This is even more an issue as they are doing
eighty miles an hour. Driving that speed in a car is one thing, but on a
motorcycle it is a whole different experience. As he looks at the billboards for
hotels, he wonders when they are going to stop. He is feeling tired and really
wants to sleep for the night. As he looks over at DDOJ, who is hanging over the
edge and looking at the while line on the highway, he wonders if he will sleep
at all. Then as if she read his mind, she signals to get off the next exit. It
is a basic point to the right, but he figures it out. As they get off, she turns
left and heads down to a motel on the side of the road. They pull up to the
Motel Hello. She pulls in and he follows her. As they get out, she pulls off her
helmet and lets her long hair fall out. She shakes out her hair and says "I
didn't think you were going to keep up with me. Not bad for an old man." He
looks at her as she smiles and says "I'm not that old." She laughs and says "I
saw that scared look on your face. First time on a bike?" He climbs off the bike
and says "It has been awhile." She then says "Glad I got you one with training
wheels." He gives her a dirty look.
Inside the motel office, they come into a strange room. It
looks more like a store than a motel. There is a heavy set woman who is sitting
there. She is watching television. When she sees them enter, she gets up and
says "Welcome to Motel Hello. Are you here for a room or some smoked meat?" Zero
and Lucy look at each other and then say "We would like two rooms." Zero looks
at her and she says "If you think I am sharing a room with two men, you're
crazy." The old woman laughs and grabs two room keys. "The rooms are adjoined,
in case the mood strikes." Lucy grabs the keys and gives one to Zero. "Get
settled in and I will take care of the bill." He looks at her and decides that
he better go get DDOJ, who is once again spinning in circles around the parking
lot. He is making a vroom noise as he spins. Zero grabs his arm and says "Come
on fly boy, let's go to our room."
The rooms are modest, but clean. There is a strange painting
of a an old man that looks like a preacher. He has a stern look on his face and
is holding a bible. The picture is looking right at the twin beds. "What a
creepy picture." Zero says as he looks at it. As he turns around and starts
unpacking the suitcase, he does not see the eyes pull out. As he continues
unpacking, a set of real eyes replaces them and watches him. They look around
the room and then the disappear, only to be replaced by the old eyes.
Lucy enters her room and finds it about what she expects. She
also finds a large, creepy picture. This one is of a nun with a stern look on
her face and holding a ruler as if to smack you. "That's one way to make sure no
one steals your paintings." She then turns around and puts her bag on the bed.
As she unpacks, the eyes disappear and are replaced by human eyes. The eyes
watch her as she pulls out a long shirt and a pair of shorts out of the bag. She
then kicks off her sandals and pulls her shirt over her head. The eyes watch as
she reaches around and unhooks her bra. She lets her bra fall to the ground as
she turns around. The eyes bug out a bit as her exposed breasts hang there. She
then slowly takes off her cutoff shorts. She drops them to the floor and shows
her lacy, black panties. She then grabs a pair of pajama bottoms and slips them
over. She grabs an oversized Duran Duran shirt and puts it on, thus ending the
peep show. The shirt goes down to her knees and makes a great night shirt.
Zero sits on the bed and watches as DDOJ bounces up and down
on his bed. Thinking the night will be a total loss, he hears a knock on the
door. He goes to answer it and finds there is no one there. Thinking that is
odd, he sits back down. He then hears a knock again, only this time he realizes
it is coming from the adjoining room. He goes over and unhooks the lock and
opens the door. On the other side is Lucy in her shirt. As he opens it, she says
"I came to check on DDOJ, how is he?" Zero points to him, bouncing on the bed
and says "How long does this drug last?" She laughs at him and says "About eight
hours." Zero rolls his eyes and says "Great, sometime during the night, he will
come down and by then it will be time to get up." She feels a bit of pity for
him and says "Tell you what, you can come in my room, if you can keep your hands
to yourself." He looks at her with a smile and says "Thanks, but what about
DDOJ?" She walks over and takes the television remote and turns on the TV. She
then hands it to him and says "Have fun." DDOJ stops jumping and sits down and
starts watching television. She then says "That will keep him occupied for
hours." The two of them then head over to her room.
At the main gate the two agents are stopped. "You need a
ticket to enter." the man says as he looks at their badge. "We are the FBI, do
you understand. Now either let us pass or we will force our way in." The man
turns away and says "No ticket, no entrance." The second agent then says "OK,
how much is a ticket? The man says "We are all sold out." The first agent then
looks to the second one and says "Let me handle this." He walks up to the man
and looks him right in the eye. "You have one last chance to let us in or things
will get ugly." The man laughs and says "What are you going to do? Arrest me?"
He then turns to his partner and says "Go back on the phone and call the DEA.
Tell them I want every available man here to arrest the Grateful Dead. And tell
them to make sure there are drugs found and the group is jailed." His partner
starts walking away. The man gets a little nervous. "You just bluffing. You
can't have them arrested, can you?" The man says "If I was you, I would go enjoy
this concert as it will be there last concert ever." The man is worried as he is
a huge fan. "What do you mean their last concert? They can beat any drug rap."
The agent pulls out a cigarette and sticks it in his mouth. He then looks at the
man and says "Maybe, but can they beat a murder rap?" The man looks at him and
says "What murder rap? There's no murder." The agent fumbles in his pocket,
looking for a lighter. He knows it is not there, but he checks anyway. "I do
remember a case where a rock group found out that the guy selling tickets was
skimming some money off the top for himself and they were so enraged, they had
him killed." A worried look comes over the guy's face. "The Dead aren't like
that. They would never kill anyone." The agent then reaches into his vest pocket
to get his lighter, making sure to open up his coat enough so the man can see
his gun. "They don't have to kill anyone, just get framed for it. Know what I
mean?" He then smiles at the man. His smile is so cold and so evil that it sends
a shiver down his spine. He then says "Go ahead and go in. You don't need a
ticket." The agent smiles and says "Thank you for cooperating." He walks past
him and enters the show.
His partner only walked for a few minutes before turning
around and coming back. He knew what was going on. As he walks past the man, he
is not stopped for a ticket. The man is pale white and looks like he saw a
ghost. The agent looks at him and says "Bang!" The man closes his eyes and
cringes. The agent laughs to himself as he heads over to his partner. The two of
them look out over the crowd and says "This is going to be a long night." In
front of them is thousands of people dancing around to the music. It is a sea of
tie die shirts all moving to the music. The second agent then asks "Did you
threaten that guy with your gun again?" The first one looks at him and smiles
and says "I didn't threaten anyone. I just let his imagination do the scaring."
The second agent looks at him and replies "You know that you're going to get in
trouble one day." The first agent takes a drag of his cigarette and then says "I
know, but I'm going to enjoy myself until I do."
Zero and DDOJ ©
2007 Tom Zjaba and Dave Zjaba
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